I hope my kids aren't reading this! Damn it, Cary, you're not supposed to tell anyone.
Ha! These are great! I remember my Dad telling us three kids on the way to the amusement park that he only had enough tickets for two of us to get into the park. He said he would take the two best behaved kids on the car ride there into the amusement park. The one who behaved the worst would have to sit in the car all day. Of course, he had enough tickets for all of us, but we were the best behaved kids on that car trip that we had ever been. He laughed about that for years afterwards.
My favorite was the one about the oil spots being little kids who were run over. I gotta remember that one!
My mom didn't lie to me, she just would give me the stink eye to keep me quiet.