Monday, February 23, 2015

Spoof Of The Day: Amazing Trivia About U.S. Presidents Almost Too Unbelievable To Be True

From McSweeney's.
Amazing Trivia About U.S. Presidents Almost Too Unbelievable To Be True

By Matt Passet

George Washington was made entirely of wood. (Not as uncommon as one would think for those times.)

Thomas Jefferson would take his breakfast in the bathtub and would subsequently bathe in the kitchen sink like a newborn baby. (Some Virginia Universities still incorporate this practice into fraternity initiations, referring to it as “Jefferson-ing.”)

Never actually elected, Benjamin Franklin was the President of the United States for three months in 1789. It was just a weird thing that happened. Nobody noticed at the time.

John Quincy Adams was inspired to be President not by his father as many believe but instead by Bill Pullman’s portrayal of a president in the 1996 film Independence Day.

Contrary to what most “historians” will tell you, Andrew Jackson appeared on the $20 bill BEFORE becoming President. In fact, it was his appearance on the bill that made him so popular amongst the electorate.

Millard Fillmore’s favorite newspaper comic strip was Cathy. Just kidding, it was Mallard Fillmore.

This one everyone now knows, but James Buchanan was actually one child standing atop the shoulders of another child, pretending to be a grown-up. They got away with it by always wearing long coats.

Like Josiah Bartlet and Andrew Shepherd, Rutherford B. Hayes is a fictitious President created by Aaron Sorkin.

Benjamin Harrison has never heard of you either.

A physical fitness fanatic, Theodore Roosevelt would stay athletic and sharp by hunting and killing one man every day of his presidency.

Woodrow Wilson single-handedly won World War I. You should have seen him out there, too. It was crazy.

Warren G. Harding thought he was applying to be President of his local Rotary Club, but once elected President of the United States, he figured he’d just roll with it.

Due to his popularity at the time, God made it so all babies, when they’re first born, look just like Dwight D. Eisenhower, a tradition which holds to this very day.

John F. Kennedy took his last name from the 1990s MTV VJ of the same name.

Gerald Ford referred to his administration as the “Ford Fiesta,” embracing the concept so fully, he purchased a brand new Ford Fiesta for everyone on staff.

Ronald Reagan’s S&M safe word was “jellybean.” He rarely used it.

(more here)

1 comment:

  1. Ahahahaha! These are hilarious! James Buchanan and Dwight D. Eisenhower are my favorites. :D



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