"Hate someone so much you’d pay money to have poop delivered to them in the mail? You need to do some yoga, drink some tea, and zen the F out, bro! That is real unhealthy. That said, there is a company who will do your bidding for you. It’s called Sh*t Express and for $17 they’ll deliver a plastic container of horse doodie to your worst enemy with the following message:
I RECEIVED A HORSE SHIT. WHAT NOW?
AT FIRST, THINK ABOUT YOURSELF. SOMEONE SENT IT TO YOU PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU HURT OR INSULTED A PERSON CONSCIOUSLY OR UNCONSCIOUSLY.
TAKE A DEEP BREATH. NOTHING BAD HAPPENED. YOU SHOULD JUST TRY TO BE A BETTER PERSON."
Well, that's a nice note, but too nice. If I went to the time and expense of sending horse dung to someone, the only note I would want to include would read "EAT THIS, THEN GO FUCK YOURSELF."