Monday, September 22, 2014

News: Police Say Teenager Rubbed His Junk On Patron's Pizza

I'm not familiar with Papa Murphy's. If it's anything like Papa John's, the pizza already tastes like scrote, so what's the big deal?

From The Smoking Gun.
Police Say Teenager Rubbed His Junk On Patron's Pizza

SEPTEMBER 16---Angered that a customer called in a pizza order right before closing time, a Texas teenager allegedly rubbed his genitals on the patron’s pie as he prepared the takeout order, police allege.

Brent Bradley told cops that when he arrived at Papa Murphy’s pizza in Georgetown, a city 25 miles north of Austin, he spotted worker Austin Michael Symonds “rubbing his testicles on the pizza he had ordered,” according to a criminal complaint detailing the September 2 incident.

When confronted by the customer--who was there to pick up a large stuffed pie with Canadian bacon, pineapple, and extra cheese--the 18-year-old Symonds immediately apologized.

“Man, I am really sorry, that was stupid,” Symonds said, according to the complaint.

Bradley then asked Symonds how old he was. After the teenager answered that he was 18, Bradley said, “So you are old enough to know better than to put your balls on someone’s pizza.”

“Yes,” said Symonds.

(read more)


  1. Not enough bleach in the world to wash this image from my mind. Eew, eew, eeeeeww!

  2. This gives whole new meaning to "making cheese balls."



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