Wednesday, August 13, 2014

What Your Favorite '80s Band Says About You

From McSweeney's. Link from Steve Henderson.
What Your Favorite ’80s Band Says About You
by John Peck

Tears For Fears: You have used whiteout on a pair of white loafers.

Art of Noise: You have been paid to be furniture at a party.

Air Supply: You have punched an arcade game hard enough to injure yourself.

Eddie Money: You have eaten several Shrinky-Dinks on purpose.

Bryan Adams: Your hair smells faintly like barbecue sauce.

Devo: You have dissected a Nintendo game.

Simple Minds: You have tasted a scented pen.

Kajagoogoo: You have used AquaNet in self-defense.

Limahl: You have used Nair in self-defense.

Gary Numan: You own more than one pair of sock garters.

Madonna: Your bedroom smells like Midori.

Richard Marx: You have woken up to a dog licking your hair.

Wham!: You have made nachos while on ecstasy.

The Cure: You have several bracelets or rings you cannot remove.
Huey Lewis and the News: You are hanging from monkey bars in two or more successive class pictures.

Billy Idol: You own a piece of clothing that involves both argyle and leather.

Bangles: You have chewed gum while delivering a keynote speech or eulogy.

The Smiths: You have read aloud to a hamster, ferret, or turtle.

Joy Division: You have been bitten by a cat while trying to dress it in period costume.

A Flock of Seagulls: You have destroyed a calculator watch in anger.

John Cougar Mellencamp: You have put a cigarette out in an industrial-sized jar of relish.

Big Country: You have a Highlander poster in a tube in the back of your closet.

Soft Cell: You mouth the words when you watch Highlander.

Thomas Dolby: You have used a laserdisc as a shaving mirror.

Wang Chung: You have a money clip with an amusement park logo printed on it.

Bauhaus: You know what LARPing is.

OMD: You have gone to a party dressed as a dark elf.

Culture Club: You have woken up under someone who was dressed as a dark elf.

Ministry: You have thrown up on someone who was dressed as a dark elf.
Toni Basil: You have spilled Zima into a motel heating vent.

Lionel Richie: You have shaved a word into your hair.

Frankie Goes to Hollywood: You have woken up under your high school gym teacher.

Joan Jett: You have woken up on top of your high school gym teacher.

REM: You minored in something.

The Fixx: You have sunbathed in a suit.

Phil Collins: You have worn shorts while accepting an award or diploma.

Bananarama: Your favorite air freshener is New Car.

Prince: You have used a hamster ball as a cocktail shaker.

Depeche Mode: You have drawn Tintin or the Little Prince in the margin of a math test.

Human League: You have been spanked with a VHS copy of The Neverending Story.

The Clash: Your safety word is “Nicaragua.”

Grace Jones: Your safety word is forty-seven syllables long.

Brian Eno: Your safety word is “10011101.”

(See the full list here)


  1. "You have punched an arcade game hard enough to injure yourself." Hmm...haha! No, I don't believe that I've done that. :D

  2. Funny! But where are the hair bands of the 80's like Motley Crue and Def Leppard??



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