Your Butt Is a Hero: Scientists Say Smelling Farts Might Cure Cancer
Good news, patriots! YOUR BUTTS HAVEN'T BEEN DOING ALL THAT HARD WORK FOR NOTHING. According to researchers at the University of Exeter, smelling reasonable amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas—i.e. FARTS—might actually prevent cancer.
"Although hydrogen sulfide gas"—produced when bacteria breaks down food—"is well known as a pungent, foul-smelling gas in rotten eggs and flatulence, it is naturally produced in the body and could in fact be a healthcare hero with significant implications for future therapies for a variety of diseases," Dr. Mark Wood said in a university release.
Although the stinky gas can be noxious in large doses, scientists believe that a whiff here and there has the power to reduce risks of cancer, strokes, heart attacks, arthritis, and dementia by preserving mitochondria.
Translation: Farting literally prevents and cures all diseases literally.