Shot through the heart! And you're to blame.
M. Night Shyamalan hacks up his next movie idea.
LEAVE ME! I'm about to shit a midget in here.
I'll blow you for a pack of smokes.
I'm sorry you didn't get the part in Rent, Stefan.
Bong hits at work--never a good idea.
Just saw Goatse for the first time.
I'm thinkin' Arby's.
Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these!
You will be assimilated.
"Talk to the hand!" *hand melts*
Christ, my snatch is RIPE.
Will I be happy psychotic boss today or angry psychotic boss?
Worst. Job. Interview. Ever.
"It helps to use your hand, too. Like this, see?"
All those acting classes just to be a Getty Image?
"It's okay, honey, a lot of men look stupid with beards."