From The Onion.
Local Dumbfuck On Jumbotron Waits Until Last Damn Second To Wave
HOUSTON—Frustrating all those in attendance at Thursday night’s game between the Oakland Athletics and the Houston Astros, a local dumbfuck shown on the stadium’s Jumbotron decided to wait until the last goddamn second before waving to the camera, sources confirmed today.
According to a multitude of spectators present at Houston’s Minute Maid Park, the total dipshit was observed frittering away the vast majority of the narrow window of time in which he was displayed on the ballpark’s video board, seemingly unaware that tens of thousands of people were waiting for him to wave, smile, give a thumbs-up, or just do something, for Christ’s sake.
“Oh, you have got to be kidding me,” said ticket holder Scott McDowell upon spotting the unidentified idiot featured on the large high-definition monitor who was completely fucking oblivious to the fact that he had suddenly become the focal point of the entire stadium.
“You only get a few seconds on the Jumbotron and you’re going to spend them staring off into space as if you don’t have a care in the world? Pull your head out of your ass, buddy.”
“This is fucking unbelievable,” McDowell added.