Wednesday, May 7, 2014

10 Weird Items Confiscated By The TSA (Of The Day)

People are stoopid. From How Stuff Works.

Indianapolis International Airport, 2013. The passenger was an "explosives instructor" who used the inert suicide vest — yes, it was only a fake — as a training tool. Also inside the bag were 30 electric matches and unopened packets of potassium chlorate and titanium powder, highly combustible compounds used to make real explosives.

In January 2012, TSA agents at Elmira Corning Regional Airport in New York removed the offending power tool – gas being flammable and all. Interestingly, it's perfectly kosher to pack a chain saw into your checked luggage as long as it isn't filled with gasoline.

Here's a tip for amateur drug smugglers: If you're going to attempt to sneak a bag of marijuana through airport security, as one passenger tried to do last year in Denver, it might not be the best idea to conceal it inside a full-size replica of a deadly explosive device. While TSA agents aren't tasked with sniffing out drugs, they have a knack for spotting items on the X-ray screen that are the exact shape and size of a hand grenade.

In one particularly productive week back in 2012, TSA officers in Burlington, Vt., and Akron, Ohio, confiscated not one, but two weapons posing as harmless lipstick applicators. One was a 350,000-volt lipstick stun gun and the other a lipstick knife with a 2-inch (5-centimeter) blade.

In 2013 TSA agents in the Ft. Lauderdale, Florida inspected a the clay pot in a passenger's checked luggage and found that it contained parts of a human skull. The passenger claimed ignorance as to the pot's contents. This find naturally slowed down screening as the area turned into a crime scene.

Not the kind you spray. The mace that TSA agents confiscated from a traveler at Chicago Midway in 2013 was, in fact, the kind of old-school weapon that barbarians used to swing over their heads when storming a medieval castle. The thick wooden handle of the confiscated mace measured more than a foot (30 centimeters) long and was connected by a long chain to a heavy spiked metal ball.

How would you like to have been the TSA agent who unzipped a traveler's checked luggage in Miami to discover not only a bag of slithering live eels in putrid water, but dozens of plastic sacks containing a total of 163 tropical fish, 12 tiny sea turtles, plus several other invertebrates and pieces of live coral?

(See the rest here)


  1. WTF?!?!?! Stoopid may not be harsh enough a description of these people. Well, except for the ladies with the lipsticks. At least they weren't obvious. I'd like one of each of those!

  2. The pot-filled grenade cracked me up. Sure, pack your pot into a hand grenade. That won't raise any suspicions. :D

    Human skull fragments in the clay pot--so creepy!!

  3. RE: the one who turned the security line into a crime scene.. I'm sure that didn't slow anything down at all. No missed flights or anything like that.

    1. Yes, I bet the people behind that person in line were thrilled.

  4. Opening a suitcase crammed with bags of sea creatures is the stuff of my nightmares.

  5. My boss once missed a flight because a flight attendant (male) came off the plane carrying a brick of what turned out to be C-4. He'd found it stuffed between two seats and asked the TSA guy what it was.

    When you come off a plane carrying a brick of C-4, it doesn't matter to the TSA whether you're wearing a flight attendant uniform they WILL tackle your ass.

    Turns out it was for training the bomb sniffing dogs and had been accidentally left behind.



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