From The Onion.
Gym Teacher Still Remembers Names Of Every Former Pantywaist
MADISON, WI—Saying he could still picture every one of their sissy faces like it was yesterday, longtime high school gym teacher Arthur Toborg told reporters Monday he is able to recall the names of every former pantywaist he had in class.
“I bet if I went through year by year, I could tell you the name of every last little nancy I’ve taught who couldn’t do a single pull-up if their life depended on it,” said the P.E. instructor of 31 years, adding that each cream puff who was incapable of making an open lay-up or who winced and shrank away from catching pop flies during the softball unit was memorable in his own way.
“Even now, I can still see that little buttercup Timothy Wilmore doing push-ups on his knees. Good kid, that little wimp.”
Toborg went on to say that he could also recall every piece of grade-A jailbait he had ever ogled on the volleyball court.