Tuesday, April 1, 2014

News: Flight Attendant Quietly Informs First Class Passengers Where Real Emergency Exits Are

From The Onion.
Flight Attendant Quietly Informs First Class Passengers Where Real Emergency Exits Are

MIAMI—While passengers in the economy cabin watched the standard preflight safety video Monday, United Airlines flight attendant Kim Walters quietly informed first-class ticket holders aboard Flight 1173 of the location of the plane’s actual emergency exits, sources confirmed.

“Ladies and gentlemen, if you’ll please give me your attention for a brief and important announcement about the first-class-only safety features of our Boeing 757 aircraft,” Walters reportedly said in a voice just above a whisper, explaining that in an emergency, the airline’s most valued customers should ignore the escape path lighting along the aisle and instead follow the green lighting on the first-class seatbacks to a secret hatch just behind the forward lavatory.

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1 comment:

  1. That's good information to have and well worth the extra price for the ticket. I like knowing about the location of the real oxygen and the parachute too. Hahaha! :D

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