Thursday, March 6, 2014

Casting Calls Of The Day

Real copy from real casting calls, courtesy of the Tumblr blog, Casting Call Woe.
You will be dancing next to a man dressed as a large egg.

No pay but you’ll receive the film on DVD in a professional standard DVD case.

Some scenes will require the actress to be in her underwear. All scenes will be filmed at my house.

No pay but each actor will receive a t-shirt.

We’ll provide accommodation (an airbed in our house.)

Everything involving the pig is above board.

We do not see her face at all as the upper body is that of a lizard. This role involves no nudity but does require ‘stripper legs.’ By that I mean small pants or a thong & high heels.

Male lead - a strong, confident performer. Female lead - she doesn’t have any lines.

No pay. The budget is tied up in equipment hire, paying the videographer & buying duck feather pillows.

No pay but, for this project, name your sandwich because it’s on me.

The film is called Attack of the Masturbating Zombies.

A woman who can more than hold her own in a male-dominated profession. Her cleavage is her best feature.

Send me photos of your feet & mean facial expressions.

Can accept nude scenes & has confidence to spend time around rabbits.

A young & beautiful church aid who accidentally sleeps with all the deacons.

They smear themselves with the excrement left behind by the elk.

No pay but you will receive compliments.

The actress must be comfortable with having her toes sucked.

She goes on a murderous rampage after receiving a measly £5 voucher. No pay.

Harmless librarian who goes over to the dark side. Topless.

No pay but water will be provided on set.

She gets a couple of lines, a light-hearted orgy scene & then gets kicked through a window

The character will be talking to camera so please don’t apply if you have a foreign accent.

OK, yes, you have to be busty. I didn’t make the world the way it is, but the fact is busty gets more views. And you have to be comfortable in a bikini.

The film is set in the slave trade era. No pay.


(More here.)

3 comments:

  1. "She gets a couple of lines, a light-hearted orgy scene & then gets kicked through a window." Well, as long as it's light-hearted. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. "A young & beautiful church aid who accidentally sleeps with all the deacons."

    I can't help but wonder how she does that "accidentally."

    And "No pay but water will be provided on set." Wow, so generous! I bet they will be lined up out the door to apply for that one.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The free DVD was nice but when I saw the professional standard DVD case, I knew I had arrived.

    ReplyDelete

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