Friday, October 11, 2013

News: Man Making Ramen In Speedo While Gaming Gets 20 Rockets Shot Into His Groin

Clearly the rockets wanted him put his fucking pants back on. From RocketNews24.
Man making ramen in Speedo while gaming suddenly receives 20 rockets to the groin

Oct. 6, 2013

It’s a scene all too familiar to many of us: You’re sitting at home playing some video games when you begin to get sweaty from the strenuous button mashing.

Like anyone would, you change into a pair of Speedos to cool down a bit. Then, feeling a little peckish after some more gaming, you decide to cook up some ramen.

Stop!!! Little do you know these seemingly innocent actions are a recipe for getting 20 rockets fired at your private parts.

This painful lesson was learnt by Mr. Ye of New Taipei, Taiwan on 1 October.

The 32-year-old man was acting out the scene described above at his home at around 10:00 in the morning.

Wanting to enjoy some tasty ramen, Mr. Ye brought a portable stove to the room in which he was playing games.

However, as he fired up his stove, its heat came into contact with a box of fireworks lying nearby and set them off. In total 20 rockets were fired, all of which hit Mr. Ye square in the crotch.

The impromptu fireworks show also generated loud bangs on four separate occasions.

It was these sounds that alerted neighbors to call the fire department.

When the emergency workers opened the door to Mr. Ye’s room they could vaguely see him through a cloud of smoke, wearing a Speedo, on all fours, legs spread, and yelling “Owwwww!!!”

(read more) 

Words And Phrases That Should Be Banned From Food Descriptions (Of The Day)

From Fort on Food.
From Matthew Fort:

"The Roman Catholic Church used to have an Index of books (Index Librorum Prohibitorum) that the powers that be thought the world would be better off not reading. It was abolished in 1966.

Although such censorship might not be seen consistent with contemporary freedom of thought and expression, I think the Catholic Church was onto something when it comes to today’s food writing and TV commentaries.

So here is my own list of words that should be banned from ever appearing in print or on the lips of chefs, judges and presenters on TV. No doubt you have your own. Please feel free to add them."

Crispy – the word is crisp. Crispy is an abject contemporary aberration.

Cuisine – Pernicious Frenchism. What on earth is wrong with the English word ‘cooking’? [Incidentally, there’s also an irritating tendency to pronounce ‘homage’ as if it were French (i.e. hom-arge), when there’s a perfectly sound word in English, ‘homage’ pronounced ‘homage’ (i.e. hom-idge)].

Decadent – Why is pleasure in food considered decadent? It’s a pathetic Protestant puritan fallacy

Drizzle – Drizzle is fine rain that falls from the sky. Olive or any other oil or liquid can’t drizzle because the viscosity is all wrong for drizzling. Dribble yes, Drizzle, no.

The Humble (carrot, onion, potato etc) – why should anyone of sound mind think of vegetables or fruits as humble? Laziness at its most lazy.

Melt-in-the-mouth – Almost invariably used to describe meat. Invariably inaccurate. If meat melts in the mouth, see a doctor immediately. See earlier blog on this subject.

Nom nom nom – this really is a remarkable combination of the infantile and the barbaric.

Pan-fried – Twaddle. What else do you fry in? A kettle? There’s frying or deep-frying, that’s all.

To die for – A self-evident absurdity. No food is worth dying for.

Foodie – I’m tired of this expression. You’re tired of this expression. We’re all tired of this expression. So why do we use it? And why do we think that someone weird because they’re interested in food and are happy to express it? The Italians don’t seem to thinks so. Neither do the French, Spanish, Poles or Portuguese.

(read more)


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