Why not "beer AND bus ticket"? Stop thinking small, Bansley.
From Clevescene and Elliott Mason.
This is the story of a man with a taste for terrible beer and a penchant for shortsightedness.
John Bansley bought a six-pack of Milwaukee's Best at an Avon Lake convenience store Monday morning and cracked one open outside the shop. He hadn't finished the first Beast by the time cops showed up, finding the 46-year-old man holding a "beer or bus ticket" sign.
Already drunk from earlier the morning, Bansley told police "he was walking to Chicago after a fight with his ex-wife," per the paper.
Avon Lake police cited him for public intoxication and took him to his ex-wife's house. Cops gave her his remaining beer.
Bansley apparently called 911 to complain his ex wouldn't give him his beer: a perfect time for him to find his next romantic partner.
"You sound all kind of pretty," he told the dispatcher after asking for her personal phone number. All this happened before noon.
Listen to Bansley's 911 call here.