Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Bread People Of The Day

From the Tumblr blog.




















News: Woman Who Hid Loaded Gun In Her Vagina Gets 25 Years

That's one way to get banged, I guess. From The Smoking Gun.
Woman Who Hid Gun In Vagina Gets 25 Years

JULY 8--The Oklahoma woman who had a loaded handgun concealed in her vagina when she was arrested earlier this year on a drug charge has been sentenced to 25 years in state prison, according to court records.


Christie Dawn Harris, 28, last week entered no contest pleas to three felony counts during a hearing in Pontotoc County District Court.


Harris, whose rap sheet already includes multiple felony convictions, copped on June 27 to possession of methamphetamine with intent to distribute, gun possession, and bringing contraband into jail.


Judge Steven Kessinger sentenced Harris to serve 25 years on each count, with the penalties to run concurrently. He also ordered her to pay $1363 in court costs and fees.


Harris, seen in the above mug shot, was arrested in March after a drug dog alerted to a vehicle in which she and another woman were seated. 


A subsequent search of the car turned up meth, drug paraphernalia, a .25 caliber semi-automatic pistol, and a loaded magazine.

While being transported to jail, Harris told a cop “several times that she needed to go to the bathroom,” according to an Ada Police Department report.



(continued here)

Airline Passengers As Explained By Their Pants

Amusing. But what about no pants?

From Wendi Aarons on McSweeney's.



Airplane Passengers as Explained By Their Pants

Wool Suit Pants: Will board before you.

Wool Hunting Pants: Will board after you.

Pleated Dockers: Will loudly talk on cell phone about ROIs and vertical markets.

Pajama Bottoms: Will be flying either to or from a city with a SeƱor Frog’s.

Sweatpants with Dallas Mavericks Logo: Will clog one or more bathrooms.

Stained Yoga Pants: Will be carrying a screaming child.

Stained Gymboree Pants: Will be a screaming child.

Leather Pants: Did not pay for own flight.

Pants with Underwear Sticking Out: Did not pay for own flight.

Jeans with Rhinestones: Will get wasted on tequila and Sprite and graze flight attendant’s boob.

Tight Black Stretch Pants: Will be a pharmaceutical sales rep named Morgan.

Hemp Pants: Will be flying either to or from a city with a yurt resort.

Golf Pants: Will “accidentally” click on a porn link on his laptop.

Camouflage Cargos: Carry-on is a styrofoam cooler sealed with duct tape.

Blue Capris: European on business.

Red Capris: European on holiday.

Plaid Capris: European on way to rehab.

Pink Sweatpants: Will laugh her ass off at the Adam Sandler in-flight movie.

Beige Slacks: Will nervously clutch book about how liberals are destroying America.

Linen Trousers: Will swallow a Xanax and mangle your hand during take-off.

Wide-waled Corduroys: Traveling with a cat.

Thin-waled Corduroys: Traveling with a guitar.

Patched Corduroys: Traveling with a cat named Guitar.

Orange Jumpsuit: Did not pay for own flight.

Skinny Jeans: Will develop deep vein thrombosis.

Swim Trunks: Will be escorted off plane by federal air marshal for doing something gross to the beverage cart.

Creased Jeans: Federal air marshal.


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