Thursday, April 4, 2013

Bizarre Dying Wishes Of The Day

From CBC.

ANDRE "POOR YORICK" TCHAIKOWSKY
Before pianist André Tchaíkowsky of Poland died of cancer in 1982, he asked that his body be donated to science. He also asked that his skull be used to portray Yorick in a performance of Hamlet.

For many years, Tchaíkowsky's skull had been used in rehearsals of Hamlet in Stratford-upon-Avon, England, but never in an actual performance. Cue David Tennant (of Dr. Who fame) who revealed he's used the skull in 22 performances of Hamlet at Stratford, without the audience knowing.

DAVID "WHOPPER" KIME, JR.
By all accounts, American Second World War vet David Kime Jr. "lived by his own rules". His daughter said that his last request, while unusual, was a "happy way of honouring [him] and the things that brought him joy."

Kime Jr.'s funeral procession stopped off for a posthumous order, a Burger King drive-thru burger, to be placed atop his flag-draped coffin at the cemetery.

ANGEL "DEAD MAN STANDING" MEDINA
After Angel Pantoja Medina, 24, was found dead in San Juan, Puerto Rico, his family wanted to fulfill his dying wish. He wanted to be standing at his own wake "ready to party." So, Angel was embalmed in a special way so people could embrace him one last time.

Angel stood for his entire three-day wake wearing his favourite Yankees baseball cap and sunglasses.

JAMES "SHOTGUN" BOOTH
When Brit James Booth, a vintage shotgun expert, passed in 2004, it was no surprise that his last request involved the hobby he loved so much.

The former hunter's ashes were mixed into a batch of shotgun shells, which were blessed by a minister before he was given a 12-gauge final salute.


(Read more)

American Psycho Redux

I've wanted to this to Weird Al for years.


Amusing Store Nicknames Of The Day

Nicknames for some of my favorite retailers. Some I made up, others I heard (from you, in some cases, the first time I posted this). If I slam your favorite eatery or store, here's a tissue. I hate the word eatery, btw.

Got some of your own? Speak up.

 
RED LOBSTER 
Dead Lobster
Led Robster
Fish Stickster


POTTERY BARN
Robbery Barn


CRACKER BARREL
Honkey Bucket

APPLEBEE'S
Crapplebee's
Applebutt's
I'll Be Right Back With Them Salads1

 
OLIVE GARDEN
Ketchup & Noodles


McDONALD'S
McSquat
Burp
Old McDonald's (what my kid called it when she was little)
Rotten Ronnie's


KRYSTAL/WHITE CASTLE 
Sliders
Colon Blow


WAFFLE HOUSE 
Awful House
Awful Waffle
 
The Hungry Bastard (ask for some booger bread on the side)
TARGET 
Tar-Jay
Heaven


SUBWAY 
Suckway
Sandwich Artist's Colony
Blandwich


PIZZA HUT
Pizza Slut
Pizza Butt
Pizza the Hutt
Cheese On A Cracker


WAL-MART
Wally World
 
Aisle Of Cram
Hell
Always Screaming Babies. Always.


FUDDRUCKER'S
Pudfuckers
Buttfuckers


CHILI'S
Willi-Nilli's
Upchucki's

WHOLE FOODS
Whole Paycheck
Whore Foods


BED, BATH & BEYOND 
Bed, Bath and Beyond My Budget
Bed, Bath and Behind

MAJIK MARKET
Tragic Markup

NEIMAN MARCUS
Needless Markup


DENNY'S
The Roach
Drunky's

TOYS 'R US
We Be Toys


HOME DEPOT 
Home Despot
Yes, We Have No Banana2


LOWE'S
Slow's
Blows

RESTORATION HARDWARE 
Fistoration Hardware

OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE
Steakback Outhouse


STEAK & ALE
Ache & Stale


ARBY'S
Barfby's
I'm Thinkin' Diarrhea


TACO BELL 
Taco Hell
Toxic Hell
T
aco Smell
Make A Run For The Toilet

STARBUCKS
Starfucks

BABY SUPERSTORE
Baby Pooperstore

JACK IN THE BOX 
Yack In A Box
Jack In My Box
Jack In The Crack
Gag In The Bag


FRIDAY'S 
Flair

CHIK-FIL-A
Chicken Jesus3 
 

PUBLIX
Pubelicks


PIGGLY-WIGGLY
Hoggly-Woggly

PUBLIX + PIGGLY WIGGLY =
Wiggly Pubelix

DAIRY QUEEN

Scary Queen
Fairy Queen
Dairy Squeeze

DUNKIN' DONUTS
Drunken Dognuts



1. In honor of something said to us by a waiter at Applebee's in Waycross, GA.

2. An inside joke between me and my wife, as Home Depot has catalogs filled with things they no longer carry in stock, but no one tells you this when you're looking through them. You spend an hour picking out fixtures and then the clerk says, "Oh, yeah, we don't have those anymore."

3. A chain run by outspoken conservative Christians and closed on Sunday for the sabbath.

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails