News: Man Who Can't Get Enough Mucus Enjoying Winter Season

From The Onion.

Man Who Can't Get Enough Mucus Enjoying Winter Season

Jan. 22, 2013

CHICAGO—Saying that he’s always up for having more mucus congesting every part of his respiratory system, local man Michael Harrison told reporters this morning that he was really delighting in the winter season. 

“I tell you, there is nothing I like better than the feeling of phlegm pouring out of my nose and caking over my raw, exposed nostrils,” said Harrison, who added that struggling to pull air through his mucus-suffused nose and mouth was just one of the many things that made winter his favorite time of the year. 

“What can I say? I’m a mucus man!” 

At press time, an utterly delighted Harrison was wiping frozen phlegm off of his nose and lips with the back of his coarse winter glove.

Close Call Of The Day

Know who was flying that plane? Charles Darwin. He won't miss next time. #luckymorons

News: Naked Man Terrorizes Florida Family's Home, Dumps Out Vacuum Contents And Masturbates On Floor

Florida. Always. 

From NBC-2.com. Thanks for the link, Jody Love.

Naked Man Terrorizes Florida Family's Home
 
A North Fort Myers resident was tackled by a naked man who had leapt off his roof Monday evening - and the scene only got more bizarre from there.

Deputies were called to 17000 block of Old Bayshore Road just before 7 p.m. to deal with 21-year-old Gregory Matthew Bruni of Venice.

The resident said he was lying in bed when he and his wife heard what sounded like thunder.

The man went outside and saw Bruni running around on the roof. He allegedly jumped off and onto the victim, hitting him in the shoulder and knocking him down.

Deputies say Bruni then ran into the house and pulled a large-screen TV off its stand and dumped the contents of a vacuum onto the floor.

Bruni then headed toward the couple's son's bedroom, where several guns were stored, so the man's wife fired three warning shots from a .38 revolver.

The arrest report says Bruni fell to the floor - but then began pleasuring himself.

He got up off the floor, ran into the son's bedroom and began rubbing clothing on his face.

The resident got a shotgun and held Bruni until two deputies arrived. 

They cleared the home and tried to detain Bruni, who they describe as flailing his arms and legs and talking, but not making any sense.

Bruni tried to flee the deputies, and they ended up using a Taser to subdue him.

He was taken to the hospital, but doctors told deputies they couldn't identify the substance Bruni was on during the incident.

Bruni is charged with two counts of Criminal Mischief, Battery, Occupied Burglary and resisting without violence. Deputies say Bruni will be booked into jail after being released from the hospital.

Amusingly Named Molecules Of The Day

That's right. Molecules. If you're in school, this post might count as a science credit. Consult your advisor.

From this site by Paul May.



ARSOLE
Yes, believe it or not, there is actually a molecule called Arsole... and it's a ring! It is the arsenic equivalent of pyrrole, and although it is rarely found in its pure form, it is occasionally seen as a sidegroup in the form of organic arsolyls.

DICKITE
Dickite, Al2Si2O5(OH)4, is a (kaolin) clay-like mineral used in ceramics, as paint filler, rubber, plastics and glossy paper. It got its name from the geologist that discovered it around the 1890s, Dr. W. Thomas Dick, of Lanarkshire, Scotland.

MORONIC ACID
A triterpenoid organic acid found in Pistacia resin, and of interest to people studying archaeological relics, shipwrecks and the contents of ancient Egyptian jars.

FUCITOL
Although this sounds like what an undergraduate chemist might exclaim when his synthesis goes wrong, it's actually an alcohol, whose other names are L-fuc-ol or 1-deoxy-D-galactitol.



THEBACON
Not to be confused with BaCoN (barium cobalt nitride), which is a black crystalline solid with a layered structure.

LUCIFER YELLOW
A food colouring used especially in hot sauces. Also used in plant microscopy anatomy studies, because it fluoresces under ultraviolet light and stains certain regions between plant cells.

TRAUMATIC ACID
This is a plant hormone which causes injured cells to divide and help repair the trauma - hence its name, and its synonym 'wound hormone'.

DRACULIN
Draculin is the anticoagulant factor in vampire bat saliva.

SPARASSOL
An antibiotic produced by the fungus Sparassis ramosa. I'll 'sparassol' the rest of the boring description.

PUBESCINE
Also known as Reserpinine. It got its name since it was extracted from the plant Vinca pubescens.



DIABOLIC ACID
Diabolic acids are actually a class of compounds named after the Greek diabollo, meaning to mislead, since they were particularly difficult to isolate. One of the inventors, Prof Klein, also thought that they had 'horns like the devil'.

FORNACITE
A mineral composed of a basic chromate-arsenate compound of Pb and Cu with the formula: (Pb,Cu2+)3[(Cr,As)O4]2(OH).

DEAD
DEAD is actually the acronym for diethyl azodicarboxylate, which is an important reagent in the well-known Mitsunobu reaction which blah blah big words blah blah blah....

Lots more here. There's even a book.