Monday, December 16, 2013

News: 86-Year-Old Dies Hours Before Collecting Prize Of First Sex In Ten Years

The lesson here? Don't wait ten years to get laid. And don't eat steak when you have no teeth.
86-year-old chokes hours before collecting prize of first sex in a decade with Bunny Ranch prostitutes

Hours before collecting his prize of two prostitutes at a world famous brothel - and what would have been his first sex in a decade - an 86-year-old widower choked on a celebration steak dinner and died.

Johnny Orris was reportedly greatly looking forward to a ménage-a-trois at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada, which he won on an episode of the Howard Stern Show called "Get My Grandpa Laid".

In October, when Orris appeared on the show he admitted to Stern he had remained celibate since his wife's death.

And although he loved his wife dearly, he had dreamt of having sex with "big breasted black women".

Orris won out over other competing pensioners and spent a day with his grandson, Ed, at the Bunny Ranch choosing two of the girls he wanted to fulfil his "dream come true".

He chose blonde Caressa Kisses and brunette Vanity.

He then went home to Illinois and corresponded almost every day with the pair.

"I'm gonna be back here at 9 o'clock - you'd better be ready!' Orris told the girls.

(read more)


  1. I have to call bullshit on this. Fake as hell.

  2. Oh, man! I heard the contest live on the Howard Stern Show! The guys and Howard are going to be upset for the old dude.

  3. "Ed told TMZ that he would have felt bad leaving the ranch without experiencing what it had to offer, but chose other girls rather than have Caressa and Vanity 'because that would have been weird.'" Nothing weird about using your grandpa's coupon for a poke. Not. At. All.

  4. I heard the contest, and then heard today when Howard announced what happened. I was so sad! He seemed like such a sweet guy, and his grandson really loved his grandpa.

  5. Oh no, this is so sad! The contest on the Stern Show was really cute and all of the grandpas seemed like good guys. How awful.



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