Monday, November 18, 2013

News: Man Calls 911 To Report Snoring Woman In His Bed

From The Smoking Gun.
Wisconsin Man Called 911 Because Sex Partner Was "Snoring Like A Train" In His Bed

A Wisconsin man called 911 early Sunday morning and asked for assistance in removing a snoring woman from his bed, police report.

Benjamin Duddles, 41, dialed police around 4:20 AM to say that he wanted “a female removed from his bed,” adding that he was not sure “how she got into his apt.”

He subsequently reported that he had let the woman into his home and she “just went into his bed and fell asleep.”

The woman, Duddles complained, was “now snoring like a train and he wants her out.”

When officers arrived at Duddles’s Waukesha residence, he revealed they “drank together, had relations and she fell asleep.”

After repairing to his living room, Duddles returned to his bedroom and could not roust the snoring woman, “so he called police,” according to a Waukesha Police Department report.

The unidentified woman was “found to be fine medically, just has sleep apnea.”

Cops advised Duddles that a snoring woman in his bed was not a police matter since he had allowed her into his home. Duddles, who was not arrested, was “provided the comfort of his couch for the evening” and directed to “work out the ‘issue’ in the morning.”

3 comments:

  1. Provided the comfort of his couch--HA!

    Sounds like a case of beer goggles to me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Had relations" I love that. Hey, at least she was snoring and not LAUGHING. Put in some earplugs, ya wanker.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Poor wittle Duddles. Got his noogie and then his itty bitty ears was hurting.

    "Had relations" -- makes me think of that Eddie Murphy movie where they talk about "relations" at the dinner table. :)

    ReplyDelete

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