Friday, November 22, 2013

Creative Movie Dialogue Edits Of The Day

Bad edits of swear words. Further proof that some movies just don't belong on network TV.


CASINO

Original: “Fuck me? Fuck you, you motherfucker!”
Edit: “Forget me? Forget you, you mother forgetter!”

Original: "Fuck you! Fuck you, Sam Rothstein! Fuck you!
Edit: "Freak you! Freak you, Sam Rothstein! Freak you!"

THE BREAKFAST CLUB

Original: “Do you slip her the hot beef injection?”

Edit: “Did you slip her the hot wild affection?”

VACATION

Original: “Fuck yo mama!”

Edit: “Man, who do I look like, Christopher Columbo?”

THE USUAL SUSPECTS

Original: “Hand me the keys, you fucking cocksucker!”

Edit: “Hand me the keys, you fairy godmother!” or "Hand me the keys, you fuzzy sock-sucker!"

DO THE RIGHT THING

Original: “Motherfucker”

Edit: “Mickey Fickey”


THE BIG LEBOWSKI

Original: “This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!”

Edit: “This is what happens when you fight (or find) a stranger in the Alps” or “This is what happens when you pump a stranger’s gas”

THE BLUES BROTHERS

Original: "I wasn't lying. I was bullshittin'."
Edit: "I wasn't lying. I was bamboozlin'."

LIAR LIAR

Original: "All right, I admit it. I fucked her brains out."
Edit: "All right, I admit it. I kissed her brains out."

THE EXORCIST

Original: “Your mother sucks cocks in Hell, Karras, you faithless slime.”

Edit: “Your mother sews socks that smell, you faithless slime.”


SNAKES ON A PLANE

Original: “Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!”

Edit: “Enough is enough! I have had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane!”

THELMA & LOUISE

Original: "Suck. my. dick."
Edit: "Clean. my. clock."

SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT

Original: "You sumbitch!"
Edit: "You scum-buzzard!"

SCARFACE

Original: “Where’d you get the beauty scar, tough guy? Eatin’ pussy?”
Edit: “Where’d you get the beauty scar, tough guy? Eatin’ pineapple?”

Original: “This town like a great big pussy just waiting to get fucked”

Edit: “This town like a great big chicken just waiting to get plucked.”


DIE HARD

Original:“Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!!!”

Edit: “Yippee-ki-yay, Mr. Falcon!!!” or "Yippee-ki-yay, melon farmer!"

LETHAL WEAPON

Original: "We bury the fuckers!"
Edit: "We bury the funsters!"

THE GODFATHER

Original: "I don't want my brother coming out of there with just his dick in his hands."
Edit: "I don't want my brother coming out of there with just a stick in his hands."

10 comments:

  1. "Your mother sews socks that smell." hahaha!

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  2. Came hear for "Mickey Fickey," not leaving diappoint.

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  3. "Did you slip her the hot wild affection?" HAHAHA! Well, that doesn't sound so bad. :)

    Between these and what they do in live close captioning, television viewing is an entirely different experience. Great list!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Fighting a stranger in the Alps is on my bucket list.

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  5. My favorite was in Kill Bill Vol.1:

    "My name is BUCK. And I'm here to PARTY"

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  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  7. My friends and I love dazed and confused on G4 where Ben Affleck calls the kid "monster joker" instead of mother f@cke

    ReplyDelete
  8. My friends and I love dazed and confused on G4 where Ben Affleck calls the kid "monster joker" instead of mother f@cke

    ReplyDelete
  9. Heartbreak Ridge

    Original: “Bunch of banana eatin', bean fartin' motherfuckers.”

    Edit: “Bunch of banana eatin', bean eatin' maggot-farmers."

    ReplyDelete

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