Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Cool Products That Were Banned Or Recalled Because Some Moron Shoved One Up His Ass Or Something

Kids and idiots ruin everything. I say leave the stuff out there and let the chips fall where they may. The more we impede natural selection, the worse this will get.

List from Popular Mechanics and Spinderfella.

Summer Saturdays were never the same once Jarts were taken off the market back in 1988. The Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) banned the sale of the metal-tipped lawn darts after numerous head, eye, and ear injuries, especially in children. Some companies have skirted the ban by selling the metal tips and plastic fins separately.


For those trying to kill a few hours at work, Buckyballs and Buckycubes have been a classic companion (and they're great for making sculptures for the refrigerator). If ingested, however, the tiny magnet balls will snap together (as magnets do), often pinching intestines and requiring surgical removal. The ban moved into effect in 2010, but the CPSC is currently pursuing a stop-sale order against Maxfield & Oberton, since the Bucky products are still being sold.

Several instances of small children unzipping the bags, climbing inside, and inhaling the tiny pellets were reported, with life-ending repercussions. Millions of free-zipping bean bags were immediately taken off the market in 1994. As a result of the recall, some manufacturers began making double-stitched and double-zippered bags, with a safety lock too.

Faulty stands, brackets, deteriorating wood planks, and poor build quality can make hammocks a secretly dangerous leisure activity. (Seriously, have you ever tried climbing into one of these things?) Since 1994, the CPSC has ordered 12 different recalls involving various hammock manufacturers, accounting for upward of 30,000 units.

Throwing yourself onto a yellow strip of plastic with (hopefully) just enough water to keep you slipping and sliding along—what could go wrong? If you're ever played on a Slip 'N Slide, you probably know already: Some people slid off the slide and onto concrete. Sometimes people didn't even make it that far, expecting a slip and a slide only to stop abruptly, resulting in some pretty serious spinal cord injuries.

For reasons including unexpected water-tank projections and bystander injuries, several water-rocket manufacturers such as Hasbro were forced to recall about 230,000 of the famed toy in 2004. Descending rockets were also known to come back and hit people in the head, which I guess isn't really all that fun.

Maybe these should be banned just for health reasons, but with burning oil and a scalding handle, deep fryers are also quite dangerous to the cook. There's a reason officials warn people each holiday season to be extremely careful if they're going to attempt to deep-fry a turkey. The CSPC has had to recall thousands of different fryers in the past decade.

See the rest here.


  1. I can remember either my family owning or neighbors or friends owning 6 out of 7 of the products listed here. It's amazing so many of us have survived this long!

  2. OMG! I have had all of those except the Bucky Balls. I still have a fondue pot and a deep fryer, although they are gathering dust in the closet. I never understood why lawn darts are bad but regular darts (frequently played in BARS, where there's BOOZE) are okay. It's the man, trying to keep us down. :)

  3. We have a Slip n' Slide for the kids now!! But, yeah, they made it all "safe" with higher sides and a rounded lip at the end. Kids nowadays.. fuckin' wussies.

  4. I definitely remember getting bloodied up on the Slip N' Slide! I met a set of Bucky Balls recently and was very sad when my friend who owned them said that they are no more.



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