Friday, October 11, 2013

Words And Phrases That Should Be Banned From Food Descriptions (Of The Day)

From Fort on Food.
From Matthew Fort:

"The Roman Catholic Church used to have an Index of books (Index Librorum Prohibitorum) that the powers that be thought the world would be better off not reading. It was abolished in 1966.

Although such censorship might not be seen consistent with contemporary freedom of thought and expression, I think the Catholic Church was onto something when it comes to today’s food writing and TV commentaries.

So here is my own list of words that should be banned from ever appearing in print or on the lips of chefs, judges and presenters on TV. No doubt you have your own. Please feel free to add them."

Crispy – the word is crisp. Crispy is an abject contemporary aberration.

Cuisine – Pernicious Frenchism. What on earth is wrong with the English word ‘cooking’? [Incidentally, there’s also an irritating tendency to pronounce ‘homage’ as if it were French (i.e. hom-arge), when there’s a perfectly sound word in English, ‘homage’ pronounced ‘homage’ (i.e. hom-idge)].

Decadent – Why is pleasure in food considered decadent? It’s a pathetic Protestant puritan fallacy

Drizzle – Drizzle is fine rain that falls from the sky. Olive or any other oil or liquid can’t drizzle because the viscosity is all wrong for drizzling. Dribble yes, Drizzle, no.

The Humble (carrot, onion, potato etc) – why should anyone of sound mind think of vegetables or fruits as humble? Laziness at its most lazy.

Melt-in-the-mouth – Almost invariably used to describe meat. Invariably inaccurate. If meat melts in the mouth, see a doctor immediately. See earlier blog on this subject.

Nom nom nom – this really is a remarkable combination of the infantile and the barbaric.

Pan-fried – Twaddle. What else do you fry in? A kettle? There’s frying or deep-frying, that’s all.

To die for – A self-evident absurdity. No food is worth dying for.

Foodie – I’m tired of this expression. You’re tired of this expression. We’re all tired of this expression. So why do we use it? And why do we think that someone weird because they’re interested in food and are happy to express it? The Italians don’t seem to thinks so. Neither do the French, Spanish, Poles or Portuguese.

(read more)


  1. Uh oh. You asked for it.

    Aromatize (Michael Smith uses this) not a freaking word, moron.
    Haricot - what the hell is wrong with beans
    flavour profile - pretentious s.o.b.'s
    deconstructed - i.e. to f'ing lazy to put it together

    I should stop now, I'm starting to foam at the mouth.

    I do, however, like the word crispy. As in:
    Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crispy and good with ketchup!

  2. I agree with most of these. Some of them sound arrogant and uppity! Ain't nobody got time for that.

  3. This guy is a trip. Although I find it hard to take him too seriously -- he used the words "feckless" and "forthwith." But I do appreciate his encouragement to be more precise when talking about food (but not pedantic.)

    On another note, this post has made me really hungry! :D

  4. You know if someone else is cooking a delicious meal for me (which means I don't have to do it), he or she can use whatever words they want to describe it, and I won't mind a bit. =D

  5. I tend to like fancy and pretentious words, especially when used incorrectly!



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