I've been desperate, but never that desperate. From The Telegraph. Link from Woodwoman.
Naked man caught 'having sex' with Land Rover
A court heard how drunken Daniel Cooper, 24, was stripped off and started grinding against the blue 4x4 Land Rover Discovery.
Cooper was caught on CCTV simulating sex with the Land Rover which was parked outside a takeaway restaurant.
Cooper said he was so drunk he could not remember what happened until he was shown the CCTV pictures.
Father-of-three Cooper – described as normally being "a caring family man" – stripped off during a drunken night out with friends.
A court heard that earlier shocked revellers had seen him simulate sex with the counter of the kebab shop.
Cooper was also seen laying on the floor of the takeaway to simulate sex – with his trousers around his ankles.
Prosecutor John Wylde said: "First of all he was seen to be urinating. He was then seen to go down the High Street with his trousers around his ankles and his T-shirt pulled up over his head...waving at cars and then took off his shirt completely."
"At one stage he lay on the ground and simulated the sex act. Then he did the same to a Land Rover Discovery vehicle which was parked nearby."
Police arrested Cooper in the town centre at Holywell, North Wales.
He told officers he was not used to drinking and had gone out with only £13 in his pocket on the night of August 18.