From The Onion.
Buying Everything Hairstylist Recommends Would Cost $8,000
PASADENA, CA—Purchasing every single item hairstylist David Bonadio recommended to her this morning would cost local woman Marya Hayes upwards of $8,000, sources confirmed Tuesday.
“Start with the Serge Normant Meta Lush Volumizer, plus a good leave-in conditioner to keep your hair hydrated, and after that you’ll want to use a curling iron, the Chi Air ceramic hair dryer, a pomade, and obviously one of these heat-protectant sprays,” said Bonadio, standing before a display shelf at his salon and pointing to products whose combined price would equal more than a fifth of Hayes’ annual salary.
“I’d suggest the tea-tree moisturizer with the applicator, as well as the oléo-relax serum. And if you don’t have a salon-quality oil, well, you’re just destroying your hair. Moroccanoil is best—that’s the first in a five-part treatment. You won’t regret it. Same goes for flexible-hold hair spray, a boar-bristle brush, and the Keratin Complex Volumizing Dry Shampoo Lift Powder. Those are absolutely essential.”
At press time, Hayes had reportedly exited the salon with the same shampoo she always gets.