Dirty diapers in a drawer? Sperm and cough syrup on a blanket? I make them give me bed linens WARM FROM THE DRYER when I check into a hotel. And if the room smells funky in any way -- give me another one, pronto. I hope there's a record of me somewhere (like Elaine on Seinfeld's medical chart) that says, "This guest is DIFFICULT. Make sure her room is perfect."
"Cockroach powder" made me laugh. This post makes a staycation sound like a good idea. :-)
I was working in San Diego a few years ago, got a phone call at 5am from someone doing a customer service survey. After answering a couple of questions about my stay, I said, "It's 5am, I'm hanging up." to which the man replied, "WAIT!! WAIT!! I'm about to cum." Yeah. Stay classy, San Diego.
COCKROACH POWDER. Also? I'm ordering a black light, pronto. EW.
I once worked for a hotel management company and at one of our less-than-5 star portfolio (I think it was a Hojos near LA) had to call in a professional disaster company to clean up the results of a satanic ritual involving a goat sacrifice. I don't think they would have passed the black light test there!