Wednesday, July 3, 2013

News: Fossilized Evidence Reveals Spazosaurus Was Largest Doofus To Ever Roam Earth

From L'Onion.
Fossilized Evidence Reveals Spazosaurus Was Largest Doofus To Ever Roam Earth

July 2, 2013

MOAB, UT—U.S. paleontologists have reportedly unearthed a nearly intact skeleton of a Spazosaurus, an extraordinary discovery providing evidence indicating that the awkward, uncoordinated, and peculiar creature was the largest doofus to ever roam the earth.

Preston Hopkins, the lead paleontologist at the excavation site, analyzed the fossilized remains and attributed the skeleton’s stooped posture, gangly neck, and misshapen skull with a significant overbite to that of a Spazosaurus. 

In addition, Hopkins said the discovery would yield a wealth of new information on the anatomy and behavior of the massive prehistoric dork.

“Not only is the perfectly preserved specimen astounding in size and scope, but it drastically expands our knowledge of the incredibly lame species,” said Hopkins, adding that physical remains showed that the gawky biped stumbled around on two legs, drooled excessively, and suffered from an uncontrollable twitch. 

“Further examination of the limbs also supports the theory that the Spazosaurus was tremendously weak and nervously flailed about its withered arms like a total jackass,” added Hopkins.

(read more)


  1. HA! Poor fellow. I feel for him. :D

  2. I wonder if they will unearth his thick, taped-up glasses. Bless his heart.

  3. I sometimes feel like that, especially the uncontrollable twitchy part. Maybe the Spazosaurus is my spirit animal.



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