Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Sick-Ass '88 Mazda B2200

best of craigslist > south jersey >


Sick-Ass '88 Mazda B2200 

Dropped '88 Mazda B2200, guaranteed to melt some faces. 

In need of the prow to seduce the lady of your dreams? Wanna stick it to the man from a few inches off the ground? If the latter's the case (and it most likely is) then this kickin' chicken car is for you. 
I bought this car in 2009 and immediately grew a mustache upon taking it for a spin. This car WILL turn you into a man (or woman depending upon the buyer). At the very least you'll be transformed into something, maybe a bear (that'd be badass).

Features: It might change you into a bear (anything's possible, just saying).

It's got gears and shit- Unlike the 'lazy good-for-nothing' car culture of today, people in 1988 used 3 pedals like red-blooded Americans. Keep this simple equation in mind: 5 speed manual= not a communist.

Sporty racing seats- Nothing says, "I feel like I'm going faster than I actually am" like some quality seats.


Steering wheel- You'll need this.


Wheels- They're necessary.


Fabulous features not enough? I'll throw in my friendship to sweeten the deal. You (the new owner of a fabulous yellow truck) will call me Nathaniel Dibbington. I (Nathaniel Dibbington) will sit shotgun regaling you with tales of manly exploits as we sing songs, navigate the treacherous waters of the Tigris, and climb the stony Caucasus mountain pass.


 
 
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3 comments:

  1. Ha ha ha. I'd buy this if Honolulu weren't full of potholes.

    And excellent "excellent name of the day": Cleo Torres.

    The police must have had a fun time searching for her, going door to door, telling the residents, "I'm looking for Cleo Torres. Can you help me find Cleo Torres? I nearly found Cleo Torres, but it turned out I was in the wrong place. I will not rest until I finally have this Cleo Torres licked!"

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's the yellowest truck I think I've ever seen. I would expect to see Big Bird driving that. :D

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