From The Onion, though sometimes it's hard to tell anymore.
Eminem Terrified As Daughter Begins Dating Man Raised On His Music
June 27, 2013
ROCHESTER, MI—Hip-hop artist Marshall Mathers, a.k.a. Eminem, said he was left wholly terrified today after meeting his daughter Hailie’s new boyfriend Justin Denham, an 18-year-old who was reportedly raised on the rapper’s music.
Saying he could barely fathom the thought of Hailie, 17, with a man who ever enjoyed listening to, or was inspired by, his often misogynistic and violent lyrics, Eminem, 40, claimed he was disturbed from the second Denham said he was “a huge fan” of all of the rapper’s seven albums.
“Justin said I was his favorite artist when he was growing up, and now he wants to go out with my little girl,” said Eminem, telling reporters he didn’t even want to imagine what Denham’s views on relationships could possibly entail given his self-professed love the albums that include songs about mutilating women.
“I mean, this guy’s probably listened to my song ‘Kim,’” Eminem continued. “I rapped about cutting my wife’s throat and then driving around with her in my trunk in that song. Jesus.”