Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Oh My God

best of craigslist > new york >
Oh my god. Oh. My. God. 

Grab a paper bag, breathe into it and calm your ass down. You're hyperventilating because you ain't never seen a deal like this before.

Now collect yourself, then keep reading this incredible description that barely serves to do justice to my 2010 Felt Gridlock 3 speed fixed gear bike. 

Yes-- 3 SPEED FIXED GEAR! Also known as the greatest bike the city has ever had the privilege of existing around.

What makes this bike so much better than every other bike that has ever been pedaled? Glad you asked.

It starts with the paint scheme. It looks like Iron Man if Iron Man were a bike. That's bold, son. 

It's probably also why some piece of trash stole the front tire that originally came with this beauty. Why didn't he steal the whole bike? Because he knew he wasn't man enough. That's ok, I replaced it with something that looks even more boss.

The next thing is the genuine leather seat. My taint has had a love/hate relationship with this particular bit of the machine. But it's got those swanky brass rivets so I can't stay mad that it smashed my prostate and has likely rendered fatherhood impossible. 

But let's face it, I'd rather have have a bike than a kid.

(read more) 


  1. I haven't been on a bike in over 10 years, but I might have to buy this bike just because the ad is so awesome.

  2. "It looks like Iron Man if Iron Man were a bike." Ha! They definitely get points for creativity.

  3. "Shit's fucked up, but we didn't start the fire. No we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it. Now buy this bitchin' ass bike." How can you refuse?

    This guy is Madison Avenue material for sure. :)

  4. He shouldn't have mentioned his taint. I was all on board 'til then. Dammit!



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