Monday, June 17, 2013

Bandwiches Of The Day

From McSweeney's, by John Peck. Thanks for the link, Marianne. 
The Who: Roast beef, boiled guitar strings, dinner roll.

Rolling Stones: Beef tongue, caviar, platinum-coated fried onions, ketchup, white bread.

Black Sabbath: Ham, stilton, LSD mustard, milled wheat bread.

Van Halen: Grilled 17-cheese sandwich on white bread; side of nacho cheese soup.

Ted Nugent: Cubed Grizzly bear, white buffalo brisket, unicorn haunch, Jim Beam barbecue sauce, white bread.

Bruce Springsteen: Cheesesteak, peppers, grilled headband, ketchup, seeded bun.

Guns ’n Roses: Bacon-double cheeseburger, bittermelon jelly, Rogaine aioli, sliced glazed donut.

Tom Waits: Boiled racehorse brisket, mustard, dark rye bread.

Queen: Fried Corinthian leather, Pop Rocks, sprouts, mayo, baguette.

Hall and Oates: Tuna salad, diet coleslaw, pomade, hamburger bun.

Kiss: Low-sodium smoked turkey, Velveeta, braised $100 bills, sequined bun.

Styx: Chopped hot dog, Cheez-Whiz, butter, poppyseed bagel.

Prince: Braised peacock cheeks, lavender spread, mustard, mayo, baguette.

Grateful Dead: Lemon verbena sorbet, peanut butter, clarified hemp butter, deep-fried brownie bites, M&Ms, stale focaccia.

Nick Drake: Ptarmigan tears, nettle spread, rice bread.

David Bowie: Curried snow leopard, mayo, garlic naan.

(More here)


  1. The Fucking Ted Nugent! How did I miss that the first 100 times I went through this list!?

  2. Definitely the Prince because I have to get braised peacock cheeks whenever I see them on a menu. Fancy. As. Fuck.

  3. These are so funny! My favorites are Queen and Hall and Oates.



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