From The Onion.
FAA Report: Spirit Airlines Is The Fucking Worst
WASHINGTON—According to a new report released Tuesday by the Federal Aviation Administration, Spirit Airlines, the American low-cost air carrier, is the absolute fucking worst and is actually a giant fucking rip-off.
The 250-page report, which repeatedly calls the entire airline a goddamn scam, openly questions how in the hell Spirit is still in business if it sucks so fucking bad. In addition, the report confirms that the airplanes suck, the terminals suck, and the seats—which don’t even fucking recline—suck.
Nobody with any shred of dignity should ever fly Spirit Airlines, the report states.
“The FAA has come to the determination that Spirit Airlines treats its customers like pieces of shit and that everyone should boycott this airline,” the report read in part, adding that there are so many hidden fucking fees that it makes customers want to blow their brains out.
“The airline touts its low fares, but it costs $45 to check your bag at the airport, and if you don’t check the bag when you get your ticket, it costs a mandatory $100 at the gate. So the flight could end up costing over $300 anyway.”