Monday, May 20, 2013

News: Coworker Who Went To Gym This Morning A Chipper Little F**ker

From The Onion. It's an Onion kinda day, I guess.
Coworker Who Went To Gym This Morning A Chipper Little Fucker

May 17, 2013
BROOKLYN, NY—Running his hands through his freshly showered hair while hanging his backpack on the back of his chair, unbearably chipper little motherfucker Dave Mooreland, 31, enthusiastically greeted coworkers this morning after arriving straight from the gym, sources at Alperin and Associates marketing agency reported. 

“Hey guys, what’s going on?” said the upbeat little prick who woke up at 6:30 a.m. sharp, ate a full breakfast, and exercised for 90 minutes before jumping on the train and strolling into the office with enough time to brew a fresh pot of coffee. 

“Anyone got anything big on the agenda this weekend?” 

At press time, employees had reportedly cheered up after sales associate Todd Meier arrived visibly exhausted and hungover.


  1. Thank goodness Todd came in to save the day! :-D

  2. I was hoping it would say Todd punched him in his chipper little face.



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