Thursday, May 9, 2013

Discarded Lines from Robert Palmer’s “Simply Irresistible”

From McSweeney's.
Discarded Lines from Robert Palmer’s 1988 Hit, “Simply Irresistible”

By Chris Clancy

“She floats like a dirigible”

“Her voice is oddly guttural”

“That pothole’s unavoidable”

“Old Play-Doh is less malleable”

“Black licorice is terrible”

“Her hair’s as blonde as Martin Mull’s”

“I think I’ll try a Lunchables”

“That Hägar’s not so horrible”

“Red wine will stain the enamel”

“I’m mispronouncing chipotle”

The contract is now void ’n null

“George Bailey’s life is wonderful”

“Unfortunately this line has way too many syllables”


  1. Hahaha! Black licorice IS terrible.

    I think I'll try a Lunchable.
    Said no adult, ever. :)

  2. My youngest lives in Istanbul.
    She calls it Constantinople.

  3. Hahaha! Love this! Long day today, and I'm too tired to think of something to add to the list, but it made me laugh. Thanks! :)



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