Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Nasty Candies Of The Day

From Spinderfella and Candy Addict.

White Chocolate Maggots

White chocolate is nasty by itself; shape it like a maggot and you've got a winner. They look more like grubs than maggots--not that it really matters.

Hose Nose

Strap the plastic nose dispenser to your face and catch the oozing candy slime with your tongue, like you used to do when you were three.

Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans

These aren't as nasty as they sound. They are much, much worse.

Ear Wax Candy

Yes, ear wax candy. It’s a plastic ear filled with a fruity jelly-like candy that resembles ear wax. It even comes with a plastic “swab” to use to dig out the candy. Yum!

Candy Scabs

They come on an adhesive bandage replica that sticks to skin and encloses a candy ‘scab’ for licking so you can keep some candy on you (hidden) for licking any time.

See the rest of them here, but before you go, I'd like to add some to the list. These aren't quite as bad as candy snot and maggots, but they're close.

Circus Peanuts

Who eats these? Nobody, that's who. I wish they were real circus peanuts. I'd love to watch a trainer give these to his elephants and see what happens. I'd take video of it, too, because TruTV pays good money for that kind of carnage.

Good & Plenty
Horrible & Horrible. Only eaten by accident because they look like barbiturates. Only useful if you dress up as Keith Richards' nightstand
for Halloween.

Necco wafers

We used these in the laundromat in college when we ran out of quarters. Want your house TP'd on Halloween? Give these out.

Dubble Bubble

Worst. Bubble. Gum. Ever. Hard as a rock. Tastes like shit. Flavor lasts about 15 seconds if you're lucky.


A mixture of marshmallow, gelatin and wax shaped into tiny chickens. *gag* I can't even look at these things.

Boston Baked Beans

I used to go to a movie theater that had these as a candy selection. Once I asked a guy behind the counter if anyone ever bought them. He said, and I quote verbatim, "We haven't sold those for years. Nobody ever bought them. I'm not sure why the box is still in there. It might be stuck to the glass."


  1. My Mom used to eat good and plenties...I think cause of the black licorice. She liked it, we didn't so we would leave her candy alone.

    Peep are a yummy once a year treat around here and I used to love me some boston baked beans!

    Don't you like sugar LOTD? lol

    1. Yep, I do--too much so. Reese's cups, Turtles, Butterfinger, Almond Joy, Mounds, Snickers... It's a long list.

  2. I don't know why or how some candy gets made!!! They picked the sickest flavors for those Bertie Botts beans, it made me sad. And angry at Harry Potter.

  3. I like the Necco wafers, but only in small quantities.
    By the title, I was expecting penis-shaped chocolates... which is why I tuned in, naturally. Love the penis-shaped chocolates.

  4. Cherry Blossom (apparently it's a Canadian thing and be careful when you google it).
    Chocolate, with coconut and peanuts around a liquid and marichino cherry center. Sounds like it would be good. It's gross, foul and disgusting. Here's a lovely quote from wicki "Contrary to common myth, filling is not injected inside the chocolate. The cherry candy is coated with an enzyme that breaks down the solid into a liquid over the next 1 to 2 weeks" Sounds yummy!!

    And of course, my perennial hatred for Cadbury Easter Cream Eggs. Sickly sweet cloying snot in a sh*t colored wax jacket.

  5. If it's not chocolate, my list is short. But I don't think even I would eat chocolate maggots, ear wax, or snot. A girl has some standards. :)

  6. I'd add Pez to the list---they're like little bricks of flavored dust, in my opinion. If I'm going to eat candy, I want it to be chocolate. Most anything else is just a waste of sugar and calories.

  7. Ear wax candy? I wish I was at that marketing meeting.

  8. Really? Ear Wax candy? I admit it...I like Neccos and Good and Plenty. I once put them in a candy machine on my desk, mixed with skittles (with free pennies to use) and people would just leave the Good and Plentys on the desk after they got out the candy. I might be the only one who likes them.

    That said...it's all toxic sugar. Yum!

  9. Good n Plentys, disgusting? Bah. They are the most delicious candy ever made. They're perfect for moms, because kids hate them and you don't have to share.

  10. Agreed - these were all just nasty. I've had my share of circus peanuts, they were my grandma's favorite when I was a kid. Just a few and your headache will last all day.

    The only place I ever saw Boston Baked Beans was our movie theater too. We got them once to try them. As bad as you think and more.

  11. "Stuck to the glass" made me laugh!!! (PeggyGator)

  12. Hubby LOVES Circus Peanuts. They are just horrible. He gets a bag, eats a few, then sticks it into the cabinet where they harden into a cement-like wodge and get ignored for the next few months until I pull them out and throw them on a counter, saying, "WHY do I buy these for you again??"

    My mom and my son LOVE Neco wafers. They actually have a really interesting history. All I know is that the pink ones taste like Pepto Bismal.



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