Thursday, March 7, 2013

Nightmare Playgrounds Of The Day

Where bad kids are sent to play. From Dark Roasted Blend.

Don't run off now, okay?

A cross between Jody the pig from
The Amityville Horror and the hedge animals that come to life in The Shining. Not scary at all.

This is what happens when you sit in the Sphinx's vagina. She sits up to deliver you. Someone hold her hand while she pushes.

Come ride the blue dickhead with eyes!

"Mommy, my new dead friend Roger wants to know if I can live here with him forever and ever. Pleeeeeeease!"

This might sting a little.

"Will it hurt when you suck out all my blood, Mr. Cthulhu
"Of course not, my dear. You won't feel a thing."

Every time you look away and then back, they're a step closer.

Careful, the slide is very slippery.

"Hey kid, I've got some candy in my belly if you want it. No, really, I do. Stick your head in my mouth and have a look."


  1. These are all great places to take your kids...if you want them to be scarred for life!

    I love the caption for the giant bees. I think I saw them move a little just while I was looking at the picture.

    1. On the plus-side you won't have a problem with getting the kids to leave the park to go home.

      No crying fits to stay and play for "five more minutes". Hell, the kids will probably beat you back to the car to leave. And they'll be quiet for at least a few days after.

  2. The slide is very slippery! HAHA!

  3. Oh, sweet baby Jeebus, I think I hear the Halloween theme song playing...

  4. Don't be a pussy! They look legit. I'm sure there's a FREE CANDY sign just off to the side of most of those.

  5. If I had put my kids in the that first one, they would have tunneled out in record time. I swear they are part mole -- except for that creepy feet growing out of the head part.

    Great captions, Cary! :)

  6. Are these in Chernobyl? I can feel the radiation.

  7. Mr. Cthulhu...seriously, is that an actual statue, or some creepy dude in a suit hanging out with a van and candy in the parking lot?

  8. Just a quick trip to the playground and then it's off to Uncle Touchy's puzzle basement while mom and dad go and see a movie. It'll be fine... really.

  9. I really need to just have a bigger case of the lazies than usual and just do a post on these posts. The stuff of nightmares... Thanks, Cary and thanks too, to all of the nameless waifs burning in eternal torment with these Lovecraftian visages forever in their shattered minds.

  10. Oh, those flies... give me the jeebie heebies!



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