Tuesday, March 12, 2013

News: Birthday Boy, 44, Battered Father With Cookie Cake

Twat. Next time Dad should cheer him up with a 2 x 4.

From The Smoking Gun.
Birthday Boy, 44, Battered Father With Cookie Cake

FEBRUARY 28--A Louisiana man celebrating his birthday got into an argument with his 77-year-old father and allegedly assaulted his kin with a “cookie cake” purchased by the older man, according to cops.

Investigators allege that Kenneth Fulmer, 44, left his family’s residence Monday evening after arguing with a neighbor. He reportedly went out drinking and returned to the Bossier Parish home intoxicated.

While Fulmer was carousing, his father Jack went out and purchased a birthday cookie cake to "cheer up his son," according to a Bossier Sheriff's Office spokesperson.

However, when Fulmer returned home drunk, he began arguing with his father and subsequently “battered” the elderly man with the cookie cake, according to a sheriff’s report.

Pictured in the above mug shot, Fulmer was arrested for simple battery of the infirmed and disturbing the peace. He remains locked up in lieu of $15,150 bond.


  1. Poor old guy. That's gratitude for you. No good deed goes unpunished, I guess.

  2. "Simple battery of the infirmed" = Special Place in Hell.

    Dad should have gotten him a dick cake.

    1. Agreed. What kind of jackhole beats up an old man?



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