Friday, February 22, 2013

News: Domestic Tiff Caused By Man's Ball-Scratching

What? They're not gonna scratch themselves!

From The Smoking Gun.

Cops: Domestic Tiff Prompted By Man's Scratching

FEBRUARY 19--Ronald Howard was sitting on the couch “scratching his testicles” yesterday when his girlfriend told him to cease the itching “because it was rude and disgusting and she was about to eat dinner,” police report.

Howard, 30, reportedly rose from the furniture in the Florida home he shares with Shalamar Petrarca and confronted his beloved. Howard, seen in the above mug shot, allegedly got in the 25-year-old Petrarca’s face and yelled at her to “stop judging him.”

Petrarca told Manatee County Sheriff’s Office deputies that Howard pushed her to the ground--causing a scraped ankle--and then “threw her outside and told her to get the hell out.”
In an interview with investigators, Howard claimed that Petrarca punched him in the eye for “scratching his balls.” He added that he pushed her out of their residence “in self defense,” adding that he did not call cops because he “didn’t want it to go that far.”

While Howard did not have any visible injuries, Petrarca, seen at left, had “a scratch on her leg that was consistent with her version of events.” 

Howard was arrested for misdemeanor battery and booked into the Manatee County jail, where bail has not been set.


  1. Well, gee, he's in his own home. Just look the other way and go about your business. What a thing to have a fight about. Choose your battles, folks. This one isn't worth the effort.

  2. Stop playing pocket-pool, guys. Especially if you keep sticking your nasty hands in my bag o' Funyuns.

  3. Stuff itches. We scratch it. If you eat at ANY buffet or restaurant, you've already been up close and personal with someone else's DNA.

  4. If the carpets match the drapes no wonder why his downstairs was itchy.



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