Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: I Farted On Every One Of My 37 Employees

best of craigslist > new york >

I farted on every single one of my employees. All 37 of them.


So, I just need to tell the world because I am so happy that I have finally accomplished something that has been 3 months in the making.  I farted on every single one of my 37 employees.

The initial fart began on January 21st, 2008 while I was expediting at my somewhat famous restaurant in the meatpacking district. 

I am a chef. I don't know if I would call myself world famous, but I am definitely known in and around NYC. I have had several specials on the Food Network. You probably know me if you like food and eating in Manhattan.

That said, lets get back to the first fart, the maiden fart, the perfect fart.

It was hot as hell in the kitchen that night, sometimes I like to turn off the air conditioning to give my staff a bit of a stir, it makes their blood flow, their tempers flash, but for some reason, their discomfort turns out better quality food.

So with all the air off, there is no air flow in our downstairs kitchen, and its small and cramped and really really hot.

We have our plates in the warmer under our pass, so i was helping my hot apps guy plate a new fungi misti when it happened. He had the pan in his right hand, and we both reached to bend over to get the hot plate, i got there first, so he inhaled the entire hot air load that I let roar out of my pants.

It was bold, loud, and completely unapologetic.

I was louder though, laughing so fucking hard at his coughing and gagging that i almost lost the granddaddy, the origin of the fart, the poop.

This actually did happen on fart employee #19, but we will get back to that.

So with this began my mission. I had to fart on everyone that works for me, and write it all in a log book so that I can keep track.

(Continued here)


  1. Um...hahaha! It's good to have a goal? I guess? I like how he described the different colors. Hahahaha!

    Whatever restaurant that is, I hope I never eat there.

  2. As long as he didn't fart on the food, I applaud this kind of personal Vision Quest. Bravo.

  3. Ugh. I'm really glad I don't work at his restaurant; I'm betting the farting is probably just the tip of the iceberg of what makes him a shitty boss.



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