Monday, December 17, 2012

Baseball Card Vandalism Of The Day

These kill me. So clever. From the Tumblr blog.

More here.

News Of The Day: Christmas Mandolins

From The Onion. Thanks for the link, Amy Carey.

Mumford And Sons Can't Believe They All Got Each Other Mandolins For Christmas

LONDON—According to sources close to the English folk-rock quartet Mumford and Sons, the band’s members were surprised to discover during their annual Christmas gift exchange Wednesday that they had all gotten each other new mandolins.

“I love my mandolin so much that I decided this was the year to introduce Ted [Dwane], Ben [Lovett], and Winston [Marshall] to this wonderful instrument,” said lead singer and guitarist Marcus Mumford, whose bandmates confirmed they each independently decided to buy each other mandolins with the exact same thought in mind.

“To be honest, I thought at least some of the 12 mandolin-shaped packages would turn out to be banjos, dobros, or buzuqs when we unwrapped them. But I can’t say I’m disappointed when I think about the amazing sound we could create with this many mandolins.”

Mumford added that the coincidence was at least an improvement over last year’s exchange, when each of the four musicians went home with three copies of the band’s debut EP, Love Your Ground

Horrible Things That Must End In 2012

I'm not a huge fan of these "things that need to go away because I don't like them" lists, but I found myself agreeing with a lot of these. Not all, but a lot. From Gawker and Josh Lewis.

What else belongs on this list?

Twee mustache nonsense: Mustaches on champagne flutes, mustaches on t-shirts, mustaches on hats, MUSTACHE FINGER TATTOOS. It's an unwritten rule that nothing this ubiquitous is funny, but I'm not sure the mustache thing was ever funny. It is facial hair; get over it.

The trend of pop stars calling their fans specific names: Lady GaGa has Little Monsters, Nicki Minaj has Barbies and Kens, Bieber has Beliebers, One Direction has Directioners. Why do we do this annoying thing? Let's just go back to calling people "fans" in 2013.

All those kind of frivolous one- or two-word Twitter responses to things that have happened: "Dead," "I can't," "shots fired," "bye," "facepalm," "smart take," "+1." Plus one? What game are we playing? Who is keeping score? This game sucks.

Talking about bacon: Man, please, just shut the fuck up about bacon.

"Keep Calm and Carry On" posters: Know what this slogan was originally all about? It was to boost morale in England in case the Nazis went from just bombing the hell out of British citizens to full-on invading their cities and slaughtering them. And you're hanging it in your living room because why? To remind yourself to buck up because your boss doesn't appreciate all the work you put into that last project? Take these off your walls and carry on

$300 headphones: Know the best part about buying $300 headphones instead of just wearing cheap, simple, and effective earbuds like everyone else? Not being able to hear people say they feel embarrassed for you. If you are not a record producer or a DJ, stop buying $300 headphones in 2013.

Dubstep: Dubstep is unlistenable garbage. No more dubstep in 2013.

Full list here. What else belongs on it?


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