Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Animals With Sh*t Stuck On Their Heads (Of The Day)

No animals were harmed for this post. Okay, I don't know that for sure, but pretend it's true.


"Where's my other sock, dammit?!"






Horses suck at hide-and-seek





"Have you been drinking?"





Asked and Answered: Billboards Of The Day

Making it rain with your college fund, little girl, that's where.

Thanks, Chris Carey.

Clichéd Band Name Buzzwords And What They Really Mean

From Flavorwire.

"BEAR"

What it’s supposed to mean: “We are slightly cuddly and lovable New Age guys, but we are also manly and could totally hang your door/fix your fridge if we were required to.”

What it actually means: “We are sexually unthreatening.”

Examples: Bear in Heaven, Boy and Bear, Grizzly Bear, Panda Bear, Bearstronaut (above), Bear Crossing, Bear Hands, Sunbears, Bear Ceuse, Bear Trap

  

"BEACH"/"SUMMER"

What it’s supposed to mean: “Our music is imbued with a warm sense of nostalgia and romanticism. You can totally put on our record when you get home with the dude/dudette you met at Union Pool/Hall.”

What it actually means: “We like Instagram, Polaroids, and drinking out of paper bags in the park. We are from Asshole, Virginia, but refer to ourselves as ‘Brooklyn-based’.”

Examples: Dirty Beaches, Beach Fossils, Beach House, Beach Day, Ghost Beach (above), Eternal Summer, Blonde Summer


"TWIN"

What it’s supposed to mean : “Our band is close-knit and slightly creepy. We are a self-contained unit who need no input from the outside world. We have our own vision of art and music.”

What it actually means: “There are two people in the band. Or are there?!”

See also: Twin Shadow, Twin Sister, Cocteau Twins, Thompson Twins, Psychic Twin, Twin Tigers, Brusque Twins (above), Twin Berlin, Papertwin


"KIDS"/"TEEN"/"YOUNG"/"YOUTH"

What it’s supposed to mean: “We are exuberant and youthful and joyous and etc. All the blogs will love us!”

What it actually means: “We are regretting this already and will be regretting it even more if we are still together in 10 years’ time.”

Examples: Kids of 88, Black Kids, Cold War Kids, Young the Giant, Platinum Kids, Unicorn Kid (above), Rich Kids, LIL KIDS, Teenage Kicks, Teen Daze, Teen Commandments, Young Ladies, Young Hines, Young Evils, The Young Things, Young Unknowns, Young Magic, Choir of Young Believers, Young Heel, Young Adults, Your Youth, Diamond Youth, Reptile Youth and, of course, Sonic Youth


"BIRD"

What it’s supposed to mean: “We are in touch with nature. We have been to Nashville.”

What it actually means: “What? No, we’ve never seen Portlandia. Why?”

Examples: The Bird and the Bee, Little Birdy, The Wooden Birds, Blackbird Blackbird, Black Bird White Sky, Bird Call, Railbird, Leaf Bird, Bird to Prey,


See more at Flavorwire.


News: Grandson Has Long Hair

From The Onion.


Grandson Has Long Hair
 
"Like a Girl—He Has Girl Hair," Says Grandfather

ROCKFORD, IL—Despite ostensibly being a boy, local grandson Eric Detweiler, 17, has long hair just like a girl’s, his grandfather reported Wednesday. 
 
“Well, I don’t know, people tell me I have a grandson, but I sure as hell don’t remember him having a big head of girl hair,” 72-year-old George Detweiler said in a raised voice and well within earshot of the teenager, who according to reports apparently divides his time nowadays between dressing like a jackass and screwing around with his weirdo girl-haired friends. 
 
“Can you believe it? And his mother and father actually let him run around like this, all dolled up like a prom queen," says Detweiler
 
"My own parents never let me go four weeks without a proper haircut, but then again, I was a boy, not a girl like my granddaughter here.” 
 
The elder Detweiler added that come Christmastime, he supposed he would have no choice but to buy his grandson a pretty red dress and a brand-new pony.

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