Tuesday, August 14, 2012

9 Biggest Sharks Ever Caught (Of The Day)

In honor of Shark Week. From TotalProSports.com.

Bull Shark
700 lbs/9 feet long
St. Petersburg, FL
2007

Mako Shark
1,221 lbs
Chatham, MA
2001

Hammerhead Shark
1,280 lbs/14 feet long
Port Charlotte, FL
2006

Tiger Shark
1,780 lbs
Myrtle Beach, SC
1964

Tiger Shark
1,785 lbs
Ulladulla, Australia
2004


See the rest here.
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News: Drunk Iowa Driver's Blood Alcohol Level Was Eight Times Legal Limit

I'm posting this solely for the comment in paragraph five. From The Smoking Gun.


Cops: Drunk Iowa Driver's Blood Alcohol Level Was Nearly Eight Times Legal Limit

August 14, 2012

An Iowa man arrested for drunk driving registered a blood alcohol level nearly eight times the legal limit, according to court records.

Justin Clark, 24, was collared on July 29 after witnesses called 911 after spotting him driving erratically. When police arrived, the incoherent Clark (pictured above) was at the wheel of his Toyota Yaris revving the vehicle’s engine.

Clark was transported to a local hospital where a blood draw revealed his BAC was a whopping .627 (the legal limit is .08), according to a criminal complaint filed yesterday in Johnson County District Court.

A North Liberty Police Department officer reported that Clark was so intoxicated that he could not exit the car on his own and was unable to walk without assistance.

Asked if he knew what day it was, Clark answered, “3 but now it is 4.”

While Clark’s BAC was initially recorded at .486 via a portable Breathalyzer, the more precise blood test showed that his BAC was actually significantly higher.

Clark is scheduled for a preliminary court hearing on September 4.
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"Yo Momma" Jokes Of The Day

A great idea from Amy H.


Yo momma so hairy, Bigfoot took a picture of her

Yo momma so fat, she wakes up in sections

Yo momma got a glass eye with a fish in it

Yo momma so old, she owes Jesus three bucks

Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress everyone yelled, "HEY, KOOL-AID!"


Yo momma's glasses so thick, when she looks at a map she can see people waving.

Yo momma so poor, when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers

Yo momma's teeth so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice

Yo momma so ugly, she could scare the flies off a shit wagon


Yo momma so old, she took her drivers test on a dinosaur

Yo momma so greasy, her freckles slipped off

Yo momma so poor, her face is on the front of a food stamp
 
Yo momma so hairy, she has dreadlocks on her back

Yo
momma so fat, her belly button has an echo

Yo momma so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing it back"

 
Yo Momma so fat, when she sat on a quarter, she squeezed a booger outta George Washington's nose
 
Yo momma so ugly, her pillow cries at night
 

Yo momma so fat, she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!"

Yo momma so dirty, she sat in the tub and all the water jumped out

Yo momma so hairy, you almost died of rug burn at birth
 
Yo momma so fat, she broke her leg and gravy poured out

Yo momma so ugly, she makes blind children cry

Yo momma's teeth so crooked, it looks like her tongue is in jail
 
Yo momma so fat, that when she wears high heels, she strikes oil
 
Yo momma so ugly, she has to creep up on her makeup

Yo momma so skinny, she only has one stripe on her pajamas

Yo momma's teeth are so yellow, she can butter a whole loaf of bread


Yo mamma so old, her social security number is 2

Yo mamma so fat, when she hauls ass she has to make three trips

Yo momma so fat, she eats Wheat Thicks

Yo momma so poor, burglars break in her house and leave money

Yo momma so big, when you climb on top of her your ears pop

Yo momma so ugly, the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it

Yo momma so fat, she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"
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