Monday, June 18, 2012

Thrill Ride/Kill Ride Of The Day

From io9 and Mindy.


Behold The Water Slide So Dangerous It Was Shut Down Immediately

From 1978 to 1996, the Action Park of Vernon Township, New Jersey provided thousands of teenagers with the white-knuckle thrills only inattentive employees and poorly conceived amusement park rides can deliver. The Park's dubiously safe rides were responsible for countless scrapes and bruises and at least six fatalities.

Half of these deaths were caused by drownings in the Park's wave pool. The other fatal accidents were the result of a head injury on a luge, a heart attack induced by cold water, and exposed electrical wiring on a kayak ride.

Despite the armada of lawsuits, safety citations, and injured children sent to nearby hospitals, Action Park trundled on for almost two decades, enticing patrons with sun, fun, and brushes with the Grim Reaper.

There was however one ride that was too extreme even for Action Park. This water slide flipped the bird at physics so rudely that it was open for a single summer and then abandoned like a drainage pipe along the River Styx. 

We are referring to the infamous, gravity-defying Cannonball Loop.

Due to its special status as one of the most monumentally bad ideas in theme park history, the Loop has an aura of mystery surrounding it. According to the most common reports circulating around the internet, the Loop was open for one month during the summer of 1985 before being shut down by the New Jersey Carnival Amusement Ride Safety Advisory Board.

Only a few brave souls rode the Loop, most of them park employees who were bribed into testing it. According to one rumor, test dummies subjected to the Cannonball Loop came out missing limbs.

Can you stop the ride for a sec? I think I dropped something.

Story continues here.

Embarrassing Star Wars Merchandise Of The Day

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... nothing was sacred.

From Gizmodo. By Andrew Liszewski

The special edition versions of the Star Wars films and the recent prequels left many fanboys wondering if George Lucas maybe wasn't the visionary filmmaker they had all worshipped and adored. But one aspect of Lucas's vision that has never come into question is his ability to market the hell out of a franchise.



R2D2 SPATULA
In the past few years Williams-Sonoma has really gone all out with its Star Wars license. And at first glance this R2-D2 themed spatula looks like a whimsical addition to your kitchen. But there's a reason spatulas are made with a boring rounded shape. All the extra details on R2's silhouette are going to tear your pancakes to shreds when you try to flip them. So we can't help but wonder if this was actually designed by a Sith who's laughing at us maniacally from a galaxy far, far away. $15



DARTH VADER CD PLAYER
So let's get this straight. He commands an army of genetically-engineered clone troopers, is capable of building a working lightsaber, and has a super weapon the size of a small moon at his disposal. But this Darth Vader-themed radio can only play CDs and tune in AM or FM stations? Come on, even being able to play WMA files—arguably just as evil as Vader—would have been better than this. $70



JAR JAR TONGUE SUCKER
In what has to be one of the most awkward Star Wars tie-in products of all time, this sucker commemorates that hi-larious scene in The Phantom Menace where Liam Neeson's character catches Jar Jar's darting tongue during dinner. But instead of going the Stretch Armstrong route and making a novelty toy you can twist and stretch around, this horrific piece of candy encourages kids—and die-hard grown up collectors—to literally suck on Jar Jar's tongue. Oh to have been a fly on the wall during that product pitch.



YODA MAGIC 8 BALL
Though it apparently can't be used to detect when you're walking onto a trap door in Jabba's palace, the force does give Jedis some ability to see the future. You can, too, with this Yoda-shaped version of the classic Magic 8-Ball released alongside The Empire Strikes Back. If only the Jedi master could have seen what lied ahead and gotten out of his film contract after Return of the Jedi.



STAR WARS FISHING TACKLE
Given their admittedly poor relationship, it's hard to picture Vader and Luke heading down to ye 'ol fishing hole to catch dinner. But not every father and son relationship is as dysfunctional. Sometimes they can be even worse, like the aging Star Wars fanboy we picture forcing his son to join him down by the river—we mean the swamps of Dagobah—to do a little fishing with this poorly-themed tackle set. The lightsaber-handled fishing rod is its only saving grace, and even then... ugh.


See the rest at Gizmodo.

Picture Of The Day

Thank you, Mr. DJ. And thank you, Rich Girl Red.



Celebs Who've Been In Bar Fights (Of The Day)

From The Frisky. They can add Drake and Chris Brown to the list now.

KIEFER SUTHERLAND

Two years ago, Keifer Sutherland head-butted designer Jack McCollough at an after-party for the Met Gala. Sutherland says he was defending Brooke Shields, who the designer had knocked over in a rush. But Brooke said that didn’t actually happen.

PAZ DE LA HUERTA

Paz de la Huerta of “Boardwalk Empire” was arrested and charged with five misdemeanors after she punched model Samantha Swetra—who you may or may not remember from “The City”—at a bar in New York City in April. De la Huerta allegedly threw a glass that cut Swerta’s leg.

SHIA LEBEOUF

Shia LeBeouf ended up in handcuffs at an Los Angeles hotspot after getting into a brawl. Apparently, some dude called him a “f**king f**k.” A witness told Radar Online, “Shia then lunged but the other guy got the first punch in. He hit Shia hard in the face and split his lip.” The police rolled up quickly. “They handcuffed both of them and asked Shia if he wanted to press charges. He said no.”

See the rest at The Frisky.


Here are a few more I'm betting have been in a pub brawl or two. Call it a hunch.

RIP TORN


OLIVER REED

Oliver Reed will come back from the grave to fight you over who gets to suck the alcohol from the bartender's bar rag at the end of the night. And he will win.

VINCE VAUGHN

They get hard to eat after five or six.

SANDRA BERNHARD

I know she's been in at least one fight, because somebody did a number on her with the ugly stick. Don't know if it was in a bar or not.

COLIN FARRELL


REGINA KING

Regina don't play

STEVE BUSCEMI

Call him "Snagglepuss" and see what happens

TYNE DALY

A word of advice: do not fuck with Tyne Daly. No, seriously.

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