Oh, The Onion, how you amuse me.
Blame Bunions on your Genes
2 days ago
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Pics Of The Day: Blow Job (SFW)
Craiglist Ad Of The Day #2: Drunk Daughter's BMW
best of craigslist > springfield >
Drunk Daughters 2007 BMW X3 si
Date: 2012-05-24, 8:06AM CDT
Selling my disrespectful, alcohol abusing, DWI arrested, spoiled bar bum of a daughter's perfect BMW X3.
White X3 si, with xenon headlights, panoramic roof, all beige leather interior, all options with 105,000 miles on it. Just completed its 100,000 maintenance 2 months ago and is in complete and perfect condition with only the driver being the malfunction.
We paid $20,500 twelve months ago for the vehicle. Needing to sell to pay her legal battles and to buy her a shiny pink bicycle with a horn until she gets her act and her life in order.
Beautiful car with no exterior, interior, or mechanical issues.
Call xxx-xxx-xxxx for information or to purchase.
We paid $20,500 twelve months ago for the vehicle. Needing to sell to pay her legal battles and to buy her a shiny pink bicycle with a horn until she gets her act and her life in order.
Beautiful car with no exterior, interior, or mechanical issues.
Call xxx-xxx-xxxx for information or to purchase.
Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Dragon Slayer
best of craigslist > grand rapids >
Require Dragon Slayer
Date: 2012-04-19, 5:08PM EDT
I am quite sure most of you have seen the rather large green dragon that has been flying over the north east side of Grand Rapids for the better part of a week. I am looking for someone to:
1.) Lure said dragon away from Grand Rapids to a more rural area.
2.) Force said dragon to land in rural area.
3.) Slay said dragon in whatever way you see fit.
No pay, dragon slaying is its own reward.
Please note that I am not talking about the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.
WTF Invention Of The Day: Copter-Cat
Speaking of stuffed animal indignities, this twisted fuck turned his cat into a toy helicopter. What can you say, he's Dutch. I did laugh at first but then I felt guilty for it, if that helps.
From SkyNews and Rachael.
From SkyNews and Rachael.
Cat Flap: Dead Pet Turned Into Helicopter
An artist has turned his cat into a flying helicopter after it was killed by a car.
An artist has turned his cat into a flying helicopter after it was killed by a car.
Dutchman Bart Jansen stuffed Orville before teaming up with a radio control helicopter expert to attach propellers to each of its four paws.
The cat - named after pioneering aviator Orville Wright - is now a piece of artwork. The "Orvillecopter" is on show at the Kunstrai art festival in Amsterdam.
Jansen said his creation is "half cat, half machine," and part of a visual art project to pay tribute to his pet.
"After a period of mourning he received his propellers posthumously," he said.
The Orvillecopter currently struggles to fly steadily, a problem Jansen has promised to fix.
"He will receive more powerful engines and larger props for his birthday. So this hopping will soon change into steady flight."
There's even a video:
Badly Stuffed Animals Of The Day
Ya know, I'm thinking that taxidermy is harder than it looks. Poor animals--as if death wasn't indignity enough.
Pics from this Facebook page and Buzzfeed.
"No! Wait! Don't shoo--"
Maurice Sendak did this one
Hooo-hooo-hooo da fuck did this to me?
Killed mid-stretch
Lucky for him, he has echolocation
You can't eat a donkey like that all at once.
Hey man, loved you in Ice Age!
Mom was a pig, Dad was a piranha
Gary Busey's grandpa
Next time don't use a shotgun
Wasssssssssssssup!
Can you see me now?
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