Thursday, May 10, 2012

10 Things You'll Find In Every Tim Burton Movie

Not that I'll be seeing Dark Shadows, mind you. I wrote Timmy off after Mars Attacks! Well, with one exception--Sleepy Hollow--which I liked.

Link from Lea-Anne and io9.


THE PUDGY WEASEL
 

Never trust a smiling face with a bit of weight in a Burton movie.


Otho - Beetlejuice 
 
Beadle - Sweeney Todd

 
Limbo - Planet of The Apes

 
Tweedledee/Tweedledum - Alice in Wonderland

 
Augustus Gloop - Charlie and The Chocolate Factory

 
Francis Buxton - Pee Wee's Big Adventure

 
Finis Everglot - The Corpse Bride



NIGHTMARE FACE  

Horrific, bug-eyed scare jumps that make the audience jump out of their chairs.

Large Marge - Pee Wee's Big Adventure
 
Max Shreck's kiss with Catwoman - Batman Returns

 
The bug-eyed witch in the woods - Sleepy Hollow

 
Barbara rips off her face! - Beetlejuice




See the rest here.

Parents Of The Year Candidates (Of The Day)

I hate people sometimes. These two shitbags need to be caned in the town square, then set on fire.

I've highlighted some of my favorite parts below. From Mighty Joe Stankowski and NYDailyNews.com.



Girl, 12, forced to wear diaper in public after F on report card, police say

by Braden Goyette
NY Daily News

A Minnesota couple has been accused of shaving their 12-year-old daughter's head and forcing her to run down the street wearing a diaper after she got an F on her report card.

A neighbor called the police after a crowd of about 50 people, including men and teen boys, came out to watch the girl run up and down the street wearing only a tank top and an adult diaper, according to the criminal complaint.

The child was begging to be let back inside, but her parents locked her out, police said. Officers believed she was outside for about half an hour before police were called.

"When the officer found her, she was crying and hysterical," Police Lt. Mike Monsrud told the St. Paul Pioneer Press.

The girl's mother, 38-year-old Stephanie Broten, and her live-in boyfriend, 34-year-old Darnell Landrum, were arrested late Monday. They were charged Wednesday with malicious punishment of a child, a gross misdemeanor, and face up to a year in prison and a $3,000, according to MSNBC.

The couple had warned the preteen about the punishment she'd receive if she didn't improve at school, according to police.
"They told her if she didn't, they would shave her head and put her on 'diaper duty,' which I guess meant running up and down the street and cleaning up trash as a form of public humiliation," Monsrud told the Pioneer Press.

The girl said it was the third time she had been placed on "diaper duty," according to the criminal complaint. The F on her latest report card triggered the latest round.

The couple was surprised authorities were intervening in their efforts to discipline the child, according to police.

"Through the whole contact, and even on the way to jail, both were laughing and thinking it was ridiculous police would get involved in what they said was their parental decision," Monsrud told the Pioneer Press.

Cops responded to four calls in the past two years at the family's home, one of which prompted a call to child protective services, police said.

The girl and three of her siblings have been placed in foster care.

Burning Question Of The Day: Can I Catch Mono From a BJ?

The comments are hilarious. From AskReddit and Bill Stancill. Click pic to link.



Disturbing Justin Bieber Portraits On Etsy (Of The Day)

From Molly's Mom and Regretsy.






See them all here.

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Party Seeks Midget Homie

I'm so there. Thanks for the link, Jen Erickson.




bellingham craigslist > community


Group of Friends Seeks Midget Homie (Bellingham, WA)


Date: 2012-05-02, 4:06PM PDT


We are a group of 25-30 friends that like to party, but are missing a small piece of the puzzle.

Hit us up if you are vertically challenged, moderately good looking (like Willow), are OK with being carried/picked-up, and want to have a good time - all the time.

No Pets - (unless you can ride them.) 

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