Wednesday, May 2, 2012

April "Found Porn" Roundup

Another fine month, courtesy of Rich Girl Red, Kyle, Rachael, Mark, Michele, Kushibo, Joe, Amy and Angie.

You Look Like You Could Use Someone To Talk To On This 5-Hour Bus Ride

From The Onion.

You Look Like You Could Use Someone To Talk To On This 5-Hour Bus Ride  

by Craig Severance
Jan. 24, 2007

Do you mind if I move your coat? This happens to be my third-favorite seat on the bus. Numbers one and two are already taken.

Those are some nice headphones you got there. I used to have some just like that. They weren't very comfortable, at least for me. The nuns always used to tell me that I had small ears. And you know what that means: small ear holes. Right? Aren't they? See? Anyway, I lost those headphones with my iPod. Yeah, it was last November. October? No, I was right. November. Damn thing must have fallen out of my pocket on my way to the can. Yet again. I looked all over, but some jerk must have kyped it. I like to think that most people are honest, but sometimes your instincts are just off. Not you, though. I can tell you're one of the good guys. Know what I'm saying? On the right team. I have a sense about these things.

You have a great bone structure.

Are you doing a Sudoku? I've done a few of those. They take too much concentration. You need your full facilities to work on them, and it's just so hard to concentrate on a bus. The vibrating, the kid behind you kicking your seat, the stuffiness. Man! I don't know how you can read that big book of yours, let alone do a Sudoku.

That one right there is four.

Want a pickle? Oh. Spilled my pickles all over my bag here. You see, I'm on this diet, and I can only eat pickled goods and seafood, but that is gonna be a tough smell to get out. What an idiot! If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.

Say, you like gambling? I love to gamble. Blackjack's my game. I got a system that...

(continued here)

News Of The Day: NJ Mom Accused Of Putting Six-Year-Old In Tanning Bed

Mmmm.. tanned leather. From CBS News.

New Jersey mother accused of putting her 6-year-old girl in tanning bed

May 2, 2012

(CBS/AP) NUTLEY, N.J. - A New Jersey mother is now facing criminal charges for child endangerment after police said she put her 6-year-old daughter in a stand-up tanning booth, causing burns.

On Tuesday, Patricia Krentcil told CBS New York that the whole incident was a big misunderstanding. Krentcil, 44, loves to tan, and has done so her whole life.

"I've been tanning my whole life, going to the beach, tanning salons and so forth," she said.

While the mother of five has that habit, she's adamant she would never tan her 6-year-old, fair-skinned daughter Anna.

"No not at all, not at all, not whatsoever," Krentcil said.

But that's exactly why Nutley Police arrested and charged Krentcil with child endangerment. She allegedly took Anna to a tanning salon and into an actual tanning booth which caused a slight burn.

Krentcil said when the school nurse asked her daughter how she got burned, she simply said, 'I go tanning with mommy.' However, the woman said her daughter's burn was not from getting into a tanning bed but from being outside and playing in the backyard.

"Soft and smooth, like a sow's arse."

"There's not room (in the booth)...I would never permit it...It didn't happen," Krentcil said. "She's 6-years-old. Yes, she does go tanning with mommy but not in the booth," she claimed.

"The whole thing's preposterous!" she said.

New Jersey law prohibits anyone under the age of 14 from using tanning salons.

Krentcil posted $25,000 bond and was released to authorities in Camden County, where she had an outstanding warrant on a municipal charge.


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