From The Onion.
I'd Be Happy To Help With Any Herding…
by a Border Collie
Lately, things have been a little slow. Just sort of been killing time by lying down, going on some walks, lapping up water. You know, same old, same old. I guess I’ve been a little bored, actually, and maybe feeling a bit antsy. You know what I mean by antsy, right? When you sort of want to get up and go, but you don’t really have anything to go to? It’s frustrating, right?
Hey, actually, now that I have your ear, I’ve been meaning to ask: You don’t happen to have any herding you need a hand with, do you?
I only ask because it just so happens my calendar is wide open for the next few weeks, and if you have anything that needs herded, I would definitely be up to it. Really, there’s not a lot on my plate, and I figured this would be a great time to get in some quality herding, so you should definitely let me know if there’s work to be done. I’d be happy to lend a hand.
Any herding at all, really. I’m just trying to help.