Monday, March 5, 2012

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Star Turtle

best of craigslist > new haven >



Star Turtle needed to tow planet


Date: 2012-01-29, 7:00PM EST

Seeking the services of a star turtle or other celestial amphibian to tow our planet closer to the sun. We need to evaporate a lake.


Please note that the lake is sentient and evil, so please be prepared for that.


Don't worry, we don't have peanut butter.


10 Bands That Should Never Be Heard From Again

The usual suspects are here--Nickelback, Creed, Britney--but some of the other choices might surprise you. I don't agree with all of these. Most, but not all.

From Dumb As A Blog.

THE DOORS

The Doors had their time, but that time is over. Break on through to the other side? If the side we get to break through to is one where I never have to hear "Riders On The Storm" ever again than let's go do that right now. If there is a dentist's office in Hell "The End" never stops playing in the waiting room.

COLDPLAY

Coldplay is such a terrible band that when you go to YouTube or Vimeo to look up clips of Coldplay's music, the ads that run before the videos are small snippets of other awful Britpop garbage, as though to say, "Wow! Are you serious? Are you are the kind of person who might spend money on Coldplay? Then perhaps you might also be so foolish as to purchase this pseudo-symphonic nonsense from an unknown weirdo who looks like an extra in Twilight film. I mean, worth a shot, right?"

THE BLACK-EYED PEAS

The Black Eyed Peas are less of a band than they are an efficient machine designed to appeal to as many consumer demographics as possible. That being said, hearing the Black Eyed Peas play music isn't really so bad, but it also never really makes that full leap into, what's the word? Ah yes, good. Of course, being a mildly catchy pop band with no real sense of soul shouldn't get you banned for life. I mean, that kind of treatment is reserved for acts who, oh, I don't know, ruin "Sweet Child Of Mine" during the Super Bowl. OH RIGHT, they did that.

THE DAVE MATTHEWS BAND

When disgraced former Senator and Presidential Candidate John Edwards was having an affair with his campaign videographer Rielle Hunter while his wife was dying of cancer, he reportedly promised his mistress that he would marry her on a rooftop in New York City, while Dave Matthews played a private concert for them. By the way, in the comments, let me know if this little story makes you want to cry, shudder, or throw up first. I kinda want to do all at once.

See the rest here.

Who did they forget?

Vid Of The Day: BBC News Remixed

Hereford, Hereford, Hereford.


February "Found Porn" Roundup

Funnies from your friends Teresa, Marci, Rich Girl Red, Stephanie, Willie and Bill.


Unlimited refills on lemonade, right at your table.


Armstrong always got excited when he saw the bus coming.




Banana Creamed Pie?












Sure it is.




Looser slots mean you can poker all night






"No, Mrs. Duggar, I'm sorry," said the doctor, "It won't ever return to its normal size."



LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails