Wednesday, December 19, 2012

The 50 Best Breasts In Movie History (NSFW)

The top 50 boobs (25 women, duh) in movie history, according to GQ. If you're expecting the usual roundup of ladies--Phoebe, Jamie Lee, Angelina--yes, they're here, but many of the other choices will surprise you. (NSFW for nudity, duh again).

CARNAL KNOWLEDGE (1971)

When Ann-Margret formed that wonderful canyon ("Go ahead, jump in," it beckons, and the viewer is tempted), a combination gasp-and-sigh rose in unison from every male in that theater, the sort of gasp you hear when O. J. Simpson or Robert Durst is acquitted, the sort of sigh you let out when a friend—but not you—wins $10 million in the lottery.

ANIMAL HOUSE (1978)

The unattainable coed in the window removing her big white brassiere: the mother lode, so to speak—John Landis's gift to young boys everywhere.

AIRPLANE! (1980)

Chaotic midair turbulence yields a delightfully frantically jiggly glimpse just brief enough for a PG rating. (Thanks, Jack Valenti!).

MULHOLLAND DR. (2001)

Laura Harring offers a pair so pillowy they must be down. Gives credence to the theory that David Lynch's film is all a dream.

GIA (1998)

These are your boobs. These are your boobs on drugs. And when they belong to Angelina Jolie, they're hot regardless.

BODY HEAT (1981)

Once upon a time, Kathleen Turner would point her small but assertive breasts at you, grab you by your stuff, and lead you back to bed. Then she made Serial Mom. Sorry to harsh your boner.

WILD THINGS (1998)

For once, Matt Dillon's trademark dumbfounded expression seems justified, in the face of Denise Richards's...well, er, wild things.

ALIEN (1979)

Alien worked on the principle that what can't be seen is always more vivid than what can. (Glimpses of the creature were fleeting at best.) So it was that Ripley's breasts remained sheathed. Whereas the alien had its exoskeletal armor, Ripley had that skimpy white tank top, thin as cheesecloth, which only made her seem more human, more vulnerable.

SWIMMING POOL (2003)

French actress Ludivine Sagnier spends a good third of the movie showing off the best all-natural mamelles since the October 1978 double issue of Oui.


Full list and copy here.

3 comments:

  1. Ah, I think that your usual readers (read: mostly women) probably aren't too interested in this entry.
    I, however, thank you from the bottom of my still-pumping heart.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Where's Bo Derek? That crazy wingnut had a great rack.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very nice. I have to go through my NSA archives to see who you missed.

    ReplyDelete

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