Monday, December 17, 2012

Horrible Things That Must End In 2012

I'm not a huge fan of these "things that need to go away because I don't like them" lists, but I found myself agreeing with a lot of these. Not all, but a lot. From Gawker and Josh Lewis.

What else belongs on this list?

Twee mustache nonsense: Mustaches on champagne flutes, mustaches on t-shirts, mustaches on hats, MUSTACHE FINGER TATTOOS. It's an unwritten rule that nothing this ubiquitous is funny, but I'm not sure the mustache thing was ever funny. It is facial hair; get over it.

The trend of pop stars calling their fans specific names: Lady GaGa has Little Monsters, Nicki Minaj has Barbies and Kens, Bieber has Beliebers, One Direction has Directioners. Why do we do this annoying thing? Let's just go back to calling people "fans" in 2013.

All those kind of frivolous one- or two-word Twitter responses to things that have happened: "Dead," "I can't," "shots fired," "bye," "facepalm," "smart take," "+1." Plus one? What game are we playing? Who is keeping score? This game sucks.

Talking about bacon: Man, please, just shut the fuck up about bacon.

"Keep Calm and Carry On" posters: Know what this slogan was originally all about? It was to boost morale in England in case the Nazis went from just bombing the hell out of British citizens to full-on invading their cities and slaughtering them. And you're hanging it in your living room because why? To remind yourself to buck up because your boss doesn't appreciate all the work you put into that last project? Take these off your walls and carry on

$300 headphones: Know the best part about buying $300 headphones instead of just wearing cheap, simple, and effective earbuds like everyone else? Not being able to hear people say they feel embarrassed for you. If you are not a record producer or a DJ, stop buying $300 headphones in 2013.

Dubstep: Dubstep is unlistenable garbage. No more dubstep in 2013.

Full list here. What else belongs on it?


  1. Someone commented in the original Gawker post that "YOLO" needs to die. We find this especially obnoxious where I live - Yolo County.

  2. All of these and the Facebook posts that tell you to click like or something is gonna die.

  3. I will NEVER stop talking about bacon. Ever.

    P.S. The "+1" thing is basically just to make fun of Google Plus which uses "+1" instead of "Like." Just FYI.

    1. I know it's childish, but my immediate reaction to "shut the fuck up about bacon" was a very loud (in my head) "Fuck you buddy!".

      I said it in my head only because my neighbor is kind of a nice old guy, and explaining to him I was shouting about bacon seems like the type of thing that would unnerve him a bit.

  4. I think people saying we should "load up on vegetables" should be on this list. :-D

  5. The Real Wives of _________ (Orange County, Atlanta, Morocco, Billings etc.)

    Talking about it, quoting it, having to see the listing on cable when you are paging through trying to find out when the damn football game is on....lame shit, who cares (PS: Bravo can go away too)

  6. I must be living under a rock, because aside from the instagram pics, bacon (BACONBACONALLTHEBACON), I had no idea these were Things. Well, the skinny jeans, but I actually bought a pair this year, and I rock them, so they stay. They never had any business being worn by skinny hipster dudes with no asses, though - that does need to end.

    I would say about 80% of the crap posted on FB can just DIAF (die in a fire), though, including and especially all the political wank and "click LIKE if you agree" b/s.

  7. On the last one: A friend of mine made me a "Lie Back and Think of England" pic on one of those meme creator sites. Granted, I asked her to make it. But it does still keep the England motif. Pretty slick, considering I was under the impression that the whole mess was some movie quote I didn't get (of which there are many).



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