Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Creative Movie Dialogue Edits Of The Day

Bad edits of swear words. Further proof that some movies just don't belong on network TV.


CASINO

Original: “Fuck me? Fuck me? You motherfucker!”
Edit: “Forget me? Forget you, you mother forgetter!”

Original: "Fuck you! Fuck you, Sam Rothstein! Fuck you!"
Edit: "Freak you! Freak you, Sam Rothstein! Freak you!"

THE BREAKFAST CLUB

Original: “Do you slip her the hot beef injection?”

Edit: “Did you slip her the hot wild affection?”

VACATION

Original: “Fuck yo mama!”

Edit: “Man, who do I look like, Christopher Columbo?”

THE USUAL SUSPECTS

Original: “Hand me the keys, you fucking cocksucker!”

Edit: “Hand me the keys, you fairy godmother!” or "Hand me the keys, you fuzzy sock-sucker!"

DO THE RIGHT THING

Original: “Motherfucker”

Edit: “Mickey Fickey”



THE BIG LEBOWSKI

Original: “This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!”

Edit: “This is what happens when you fight (or find) a stranger in the Alps” or “This is what happens when you pump a stranger’s gas”

THE BLUES BROTHERS

Original: "I wasn't lying. I was bullshittin'."
Edit: "I wasn't lying. I was bamboozlin'."

LIAR LIAR

Original: "All right, I admit it. I fucked her brains out."
Edit: "All right, I admit it. I kissed her brains out."

THE EXORCIST

Original: “Your mother sucks cocks in Hell, Karras, you faithless slime.”

Edit: “Your mother sews socks that smell, you faithless slime.”



SNAKES ON A PLANE

Original: “Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!”

Edit: “Enough is enough! I have had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane!”

THELMA & LOUISE

Original: "Suck. my. dick."
Edit: "Clean. my. clock."

SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT

Original: "You sumbitch!"
Edit: "You scum-buzzard!"

SCARFACE

Original: “Where’d you get the beauty scar, tough guy? Eatin’ pussy?”
Edit: “Where’d you get the beauty scar, tough guy? Eatin’ pineapple?”

Original: “This town like a great big pussy just waiting to get fucked”

Edit: “This town like a great big chicken just waiting to get plucked.”



DIE HARD

Original:“Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!!!”

Edit: “Yippee-ki-yay, Mr. Falcon!!!” or "Yippee-ki-yay, melon farmer!"

LETHAL WEAPON

Original: "We bury the fuckers!"
Edit: "We bury the funsters!"

THE GODFATHER

Original: "I don't want my brother coming out of there with just his dick in his hands."
Edited: "I don't want my brother coming out of there with just a stick in his hands."

5 comments:

  1. I remember first watching "Beverly Hills Cop II" on TV, and the editing they had to do to remove Eddie Murphy's potty-mouthed rants was so awful there were just plain blank spaces in the dialog. Which was weird because right after the silence, people would get mad and start punching him, and I was confused because I thought, "He didn't SAY anything...why is he getting pummeled??"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Monkey-fighting snakes. Hahaha! :D

    ReplyDelete
  3. My favorite of all time was There's Something About Mary.
    Original: "Oh yeah, well you're a fucking asshole!"

    Edited: "Oh yeah, well you're a frogging ashpole!"

    ReplyDelete
  4. I like Fargo - "I gave simple fruitful instructions!"

    ReplyDelete
  5. I miss the days when they just bleeped it every time someone said f**k or s**t.

    At least then you knew what they were saying and the characters didn't sound like they suddenly had a stroke saying stupid s**t that made no sense.

    ReplyDelete

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